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[The day when I should show my heart…]
The coffee was
getting cold. I should give up for waiting him. It had been an hour I sat here
without any companion. He had to completely forget that last night he gave me a
call to meet here. This café was near his practice studio, but what made him
take too long just to come here. Sigh. I looked at the sky. There were some
clouds like cottons hung on there. Yeppeotta…
I was so into it by just seeing the clouds moved because of the white wind. And
I didn’t know someone had sat in the chair in front of me until he coughed or maybe
pretending to cough.
I saw who that
was.
He was there.
Sat there.
Calmly.
Dujun wore a
white t-shirt and head covered by a red hat. He bowed for awhile. I stuck on my
chair like a gum. I got so nervous. Ehmm… ottokajji?
“Where is my
gift?” he asked.
“Oh?” I couldn’t
answer him. How could I take my heart out? I was not kind of witch or some
random mystical girls. “I can’t.” I said.
“You said
yesterday bravely that you will give me your heart…,” He pointed my chest with
his index finger, “as my gift.” He continued. “You can’t do it now?”
Omo. I got so frustrated. This boy. Oh jjeom! Teach me to show it then!
“I can’t.” I
said. “Oh well, it seems I have wasted your time. You may back to your
business, and sorry for the troublesome.” I hate such person who playing fool
with other. I stood intending to leave the café. “Geureoyo…, I won’t meet you again.” I said. “Just end this silly
thing here, mianhaeyo.”
I was about to
walk when he caught my hand.
“Why do you get
so angry?” he asked, now he was standing too. “You are the one who begin this
game.” He said while smiling.
Don’t smile. I
said in my heart. Sigh. Oh my poor heart. Handle it please. Handle.
“Busun (what) game?” I asked. “I am not
playing game right now.” I said. “You are the one who playing fool with me.” I
turned back and looked at his face.
“Mwo?” He saw me while laughing, “Naega?” he asked.
“Yes, neo!” I said. “I am being sincere, and
you are playing with my heart.” I was about to cry. “Just because you are a
member of boy group don’t try to play with me. If you dislike me, say it, don’t
make my heart trembling like this.”
“That’s why I
want you to show me your heart.” He said.
“Oh?” I got
confused.
“That heart of
yours liking me because I am a member of a famous boy group or because of a man
named Dujun, I want to know.” He said.
“I didn’t know
you are a member of that group until three… ah aniya… five days ago!” I sat again. “I met you last week that was
before your debut time.” I said. “I don’t know you are going to debut as idol
group.”
“Really?” he
asked, he sat on his chair while looking at my eyes.
“Whatever, you
still won’t believe me? Gwenchana…
huh.” I drank my cold coffee. “And that thing about showing my heart, how can
it be done?” I stared at him. He laughed.
“You follow me.”
He said, stood up.
“Mwo?”
“I’ll pay your
coffee, just follow me.” He took my hand. I just followed him to the cashier unnie. He bought two more cups coffee
before leaving the café. And now we were in his van with his manager hyung. “Insahae, my manager hyung.”
He said ordering me around like a boss. I smirked at him.
“Annyeonghaseyo, Miinah-imnida.” I said.
The manager hyung bowed from the front seat. And I
was sitting beside this Dujun boy who acted like a boss in sudden. Fuhh.
“So your name is
Miinah…,” he said, “Ohh.”
“You don’t know
my name?” I yelled.
“Ssst.” He put
his finger on his lips. “Be quite.” and after saying that he closed his eyes.
“Ahh jinjjaaaa…” I couldn’t believe I confess
my feeling to this kind of boy. Have I made a wrong decision? Sigh. I looked at
his face. He slept or just pretended, I didn’t know. What I knew was I wanted
to punch him!
“Wae? Why you look at me like that?” He
said suddenly while opening his eyes. “Your eyes will pop out if you keep
staring at me.” He closed his eyes again.
“Omo omo.” I said. “I should look at my
heart again whether I really want to give it to you or not.” I turned my face
and looked at the scenery through the window.
I was still very
angry when he touched my hand. I looked at him. “What?” I asked.
“Just wait. I
want to see your heart.” He said.
Why in sudden he
acted like a man? This boy seemed liking the “push and pull” thingy. Na shireo. “Whatever.” I said.
Yesterday I did
really want to meet him, confess that I want to be his girlfriend, and I didn’t
know why. I didn’t know the reason I did it. Ah molla. And now this boy seemed like a jerk. Hull.
“Dujunie, it’s
here.” The van stopped. “Dujunie, remember don’t get caught. Araseo?”
Dujun nodded.
Meanwhile I kept looking at the small building which some film posters on it.
“Where is it?” I asked, curious. Dujun was out from the van and opened the car
door for me. “Thanks. But where is it? What kind of place it is?” I asked.
“Can you stop
asking? Just follow me. Follow me.” He said while held my hand. I could feel
such electric shock in my hand which spreading fast to my body. I followed
Dujun walked into the building. Wow, my eyes opened widely, there were many
movie DVDs here. Was it movie café? We were going to watch movie in our first
day of dating? Ah no… it’s our first meeting? What? Jinjja? I couldn’t say a word.
“Anyway, do your
bodyguards know you are with me?” He asked when choosing a title.
“Oh?” I nodded.
“They knew already.”
“Are you a chaebol (Korean business conglomerate),
right?” he asked. “A daughter of one of them I mean.”
“So what?” I
asked him back. “You accept my heart because my family is a chaebol?”
He didn’t
respond me and busy choosing the DVD while his left hand held my right hand
tightly.
“Then forget
it.” I said. “I dislike a man who looks at my background. Let go of me.” I
tried to take my hand out. But he held it more tightly. “You….”
“Please, be
quiet.” He said. “Do you like horror, romance, comedy, or action? Choose one!”
He gave me the DVD list.
“You… I won’t
accompany you just to watch that…,”
“I don’t care if
you are chaebol.” He said, more like
a whisper in my ears, “Oh, nuna, this
one, ‘A Moment to Remember’.”
“Ah wait, I had
watched it.” I said.
“So what?” he
asked. “I had once too.” He said.
Is he a crazy
boy? Omona. The unnie brought us to the room in the up stair. I just followed him
since my hand held tightly by him. I had watched that movie, the story of a
couple which the wife had an Alzheimer. I dislike a story like that where the
wife looked so pitiful but the husband still loved him ‘til the end. For some
reasons, I really hate it. Couldn’t he pick something funny instead that sad
movie? Fuh.
“Here, if you
need anything just call me.” The unnie
opened the door and let me in. Dujun walked to the room, followed by me. There
was a big bed that almost filled the room with a big screen television hung on
the wall in front of it. Dujun released my hand.
“Remove your
shoes.” He said while removing his own shoes. “We can watch it while laying on
the bed.” He went to the bed and clicked the remote control. The television
turned on. I stayed still on my feet while seeing everything what he had done.
The title of movie appeared on screen. I just kept looking at him.
“What are you
doing?” he asked. “Why do you keep standing there?” he asked me to sit beside
him. “Here, sit here.”
“Ehmm… we are
going to watch it together in this room?” I asked, removing my shoes. “Are you
sure?”
He nodded. “Of
course, why are you so afraid?” He asked while laughing “I’m not going to bite
you.”
I walked to the
bed slowly. It was a lit bit awkward to sit beside a man that I just met, even
worse, it was on a bed in the room which just the two of us here. What should I
do? I kept thinking something like ‘it’s not good’ or ‘it’s inappropriate’
and so on. How lame I was.
“Here, come sit
beside me, watch with me.” He said, "to show your heart.”
“What?” I
whispered, “show my heart? I had said I can’t.”
“You can. Just
accompany me that can be recognized as showing your heart. I just need a
companion.” He said. “Today I get two hours for resting.”
“So, do you want
to watch movie that you had watched?” I asked. He could choose something else.
Why waste the time? He is such weirdo.
“Because I like
it and want to watch it with special friend.” He said. I was blushing for some
seconds.
“Me? Special
friend?” I asked. “How could?”
“I don’t know
just … my heart says so…,” He said while looking at my eyes, “do you want to be
my girlfriend?” he asked.
I couldn’t talk.
This is too
fast. For me. For him. For us.
“Isn’t it going
to fast?” I said, trying to watch the movie.
“Why? Didn’t you
like me? That was what you said yesterday? Hmm?” He talked while watching the
movie. I looked at his face. Was this boy kidding me? Sigh.
“Are you playing
with me?” I asked. “Or being sincere?”
“I’ll let you
think by yourself.” He said.
What?
God, had I chose
a very weird creature in the world?
I smiled.
I nodded.
“Yes, I will be
your girlfriend.” I said.
Yes, because I
was another weird creature too.
Today was the
day I should show my heart.
But…
Today he showed it
to me first.
---
“Oh, Miinah.” I
saw Junhyung walked toward me while I was busy erasing that memory form my
mind. He waved his hand. “How are you?” He asked.
“Not bad.” I
said. “How is your lyric writing progress?” I asked while he sitting in the
chair in front of me, the same chair of that day when Dujun sat on there.
“It’s good.” He
nodded while waved to the waitress who was sitting in the corner chair of this
café – who was looking so nervous since Junhyung opened the door – and walking
fast toward us.
“Espresso one.”
He said. The waitress noted it and walked back with unbalance in her foots. She
seemed very unsteady. I was laughing at her when Junhung looked at me and said
“Mwo?”
“Aniya. That girl is your fans I guess.”
I said while winked at Junhyung.
“Ah molla… she
is cute tho… kkk. She should be my fans then, not Dujun.” He laughed. “Oh, how
is it about you and Dujun? Don’t break up.” He said, taking a breath for
awhile, “Dujun looks like a corpse these days.”
“He seems doing
well on yesterday’s fan meeting.” I said.
“Oh ho, so you
were coming to our fan meeting yesterday? You still love him, right? Miinah-ah,
listen to me, since reporters haven’t known who you are, so it’s okay…”
“Junhyung-ahh,
that’s what my dad did. He blocked all the news spread wider and for the
compensation I need to break up with Dujun.” I said, my tears going to shed if
I didn’t hold it now, “I need to protect him no matter what.” I continued,
“Don’t you remember that day when a reporter found about our relationship and your
agency was in chaos. We could keep dating because Dujun appeared on Danbi, that
weekend variety show, so the news could be stopped. But we couldn’t even meet because he was too far away!”
“I remember it
clearly. That’s why that reporter hyung
couldn’t release the news.” He said, “Miinah-ah, actually there were some
reporters who knew your relationship. That day, Jintaek hyung asked Dujun to remove his bracelet, the first good being
suspected as bracelet couple. The reporters threaten us to reveal who you are.”
He explained while I remembering that night – we spent together all the night –
when I asked about Dujun’s bracelet which gone missing and his weird behavior.
“Oh… that’s why
he acted like that…” I said, “That night he slept in my apartment.”
“Yes, he wanted
a night off after our schedule ended. And we found out after that he slept at
your apartment. He must be very nervous. And the worse thing, other reporters
stole the news and spread them.” Junhyung looked so uneasy, “Miinah-ahh, how
powerful your father?” he asked.
“He can kill both
of us.” I said.
“It’s hard.”
Junhyung replied me and closed his lips while looking through window.
Yes, indeed. It
was hard.
I didn’t know
how to live my life again.
I missed him so
much.
It had been a
week we didn’t meet.
Was it the time
for me to show my heart?
---
'db'
I sent that text
to Dujun. My heart shaking, what to do? I had already sent it. What should I
do? What should I do if he received that text?
“Triiing.”
Phone message
arrived.
It was him.
'Miinah-ah, do you want to meet?'
I got shocked.
Yes, I wanted to meet you, baboya….
'Go over to café we used to have a talk
together, bosseu… you have free time, right?'
I sent it. I
didn’t know anything; I must be crazy right now. Ah molla, I just wanted to see
his face first. Junhyung kept asking me to contact Dujun. I did it now. Yes,
that what I could do in this time round.
It for making him feel better or just for making me feels better. Just…
did it. Just.
“Oeseo oeseoyoo…” The waitress bowed to a
man who standing in front of door while looking for someone in the café. That
was Dujun. He saw me. I smiled. In a rush, he walked toward me.
“Miinah-ahh.” He
sat in front of me.
“Oh, Dujun-ahh.
How you? Okay?” I asked. I looked at his face. He looked rather thin. “Have you
eaten?” I continued asking him.
“Yes, I have.
Miinah-ahh, are you okay?” he asked while touching my hand, “we are not break
up, right? I am still your boss.” He said.
“I don’t know,
Dujun-ahh.” I said, “I asked you to break up with me. But you never listen to
me.” I sighed. “Why you keep sending me message? By cell phone, email, and SNS?”
“Just… because I
do not want to break up with you. I still need you.” He said. “And now the news
had stopped in the media, can’t we go out like usual?”
“My dad did it.”
I said.
“Your dad…,” he
took a deep breath, “that’s why….”
I nodded. “That’s
why….”
“But still, we
can do it like we do it all the time, right? We always backstreet though… from
my fans, from your dad, and from all people in this country! We have done it three
years, Miinah-ahh.” He said looked so frustrated.
“I don’t know if it
is true or not, but let me show my heart this time.” I said.
Dujun looked at
me, surprised. His eyes opened wider. He smiled.
“Thank you, Miinah-ahh.”
Both of us
smiled in the corner of sorrow.
---
[to be continued - in the middle of thinking that 'ZOO' scene lol]
"I DON'T KNOW LOVE part 1" read here: IDKL part 1
"I DON'T KNOW LOVE part 2" read here: IDKL part 2
