MIDNITE

Hi, dear, Dujun...
Do you read this?
Do you?
Do you?

I don't even feel it...

[MV REVIEW] POMEGRANATE IN CAFFEINE MV

Hi, it happens I have a question from my beloved @/amarvica on twitter which still has relation with Yoseop's Caffeine MV: 'What does the meaning of pomegranate which appears in the beginning of this MV?' Ehm... at first I didn't see this fruit there, but after watching it again, yeah here they are:

Actually pomegranate symbolized many kind of things, depend on the conceptual significance. The most famous one comes from the Ancient Greek Literature:

The pomegranate appears many times in Greek mythology. It is most famous in the story of Persephone and is known in classic Greek myth as a symbol of fertility and bounty. To summarize the story, Hades, king of the underworld, takes Persephone to the underworld. Demeter, goddess of crops and Persephone's mother, became enraged and stopped crop growth. Zeus then ordered the release of Persephone. Hades, before she leaves, forces her to eat pomegranate seeds and thus doomed the goddess to the underworld for a portion of every year. From then on, while Persephone is underground, agricultural growth stops and the world turns dry; when she rises back to the world, the earth begins producing an abundance of crops and flowers. Hence, Persephone's eating of the pomegranate seed represents the changing of seasons; her rise to earth represents spring and rejuvenation; her descent represents the winter's approach and death. Pomegranates, thus, symbolize fertility, resurrection, and fruitfulness while also being the significance of changing times and seasons.(EHOW)

So, I can conclude that the pomegranate in this MV is to show us the meaning of changing times and seasons. Why? Because according to the concept of this MV and the story line, we can see that Yoseop is happen to having through all the 'moving on thingy' from his beautiful love relationship into a single/solo. This means the changing times of his life. That's why the pomegranate appears in the very beginning of this MV after Yoseop paying enough attention to the sheep/lambs to show us the setting time. Kekeke. I mean, the setting time is after they break up, and in the middle of going to 'move on'. Well, yeah, he still stuck there thou. Look, the knife on them and stuck on the table, wohoo. Stuck, stuck, and stuck. The time stuck there - s t u c k.

Read the previous complete review here: mv review yang yoseop's caffeine: is caffeine bad?

[Today's Story] If I am Not Useful Anymore

If I am not useful anymore, what should you do?

If I am not useful anymore, will you stay by my side?

If I am not useful anymore, will you leave me?

If I am not useful anymore, will you ditch me?

If I am not useful anymore, will you still love me?

If I am broken, will you fix me?

Friends, you, fix me, please.

Oh no, I don’t have friends.

Thanks, Lord.

-bebebebeauty-

[Today's Story] unstoppable caffeine consuming

Woke up on my bed, found myself lying alone, I saw the ceiling, and found myself amaze with this another new day. Today, what should I do... what should I finish… what kind of thing I had missed yesterday… Yeah, the thoughts came to me like an unstoppable storm. Today, I have an appointment with friends to go to ‘noraebang’ since we still have a free pass card to be used. Yeah, I bet today I will just go and take some airs from the long road I will have taken to reach there. Ehm, then I clicked on my playlist after doing some exercises (with my body art DVD), and the song happened to Yoseob’s Caffeine. Well, the very floating song among others. I mean, when you listen to it, you are gonna find yourself stuck on a very weird box and you just wandering there like a fool. That’s what I feel every time listening to this song. I don’t know why, but the rhythm, music, and Yoseob’s voice always successfully bring me to the highest hangover. Then this morning, I am still struggling to get rid of this. But, my life is full with unstoppable caffeine consuming. So, yeah, I bet, I may just accept what I should have taken.

[Today's Story] GENERASI LUPA BUKU

“Ya ampun Ana bisa ngabisin seratus lima puluh ribu untuk beli novel? Mendingan buat beli baju deh.”

“Ya ampun, Na, kamu ngapain beli novel kaya gini? Emangnya dibaca?”

Oke, namaku Ana dan aku anak gaul #eh yang suka ngabisin duit buat beli buku dan novel, kadang juga komik. Kisah ini dimulai setelah aku membeli novel terjemahan terbaru karya J.K Rowling (pada tahu kan, itu tuh ibunya Harry Potter? Oke skip ini) berjudul ‘The Casual Vacancy’ yang kebetulan seharga seratus lima puluh ribu rupiah. Sebenarnya standar sih, karena yah, kita tahu kan karya sastra itu mahal harganya, ide itu mahal harganya, dan karya sastra wajib dihargai dengan nilai yang pantas.

Sore itu sehabis mandi aku udah di dalam kamar kost siap melahap novel dengan ketebalan hampir serupa skripsi-skripsi berdebu di perpus kampus ini, ketika seorang teman kost masuk ke dalam sambil bergaya ingin mengajak ngobrol. Sebut saja Mawar (oke, nama disamarkan), dia duduk di sampingku sambil melihat novel tebal itu.

“Eh ini apa Na? Tebel banget deh. Buat bahan skrispi?” Ehm jadi ketauan deh kalau aku adalah mahasiswa tingkat akhir yang masih berjuang mengerjakan skripsi (doain yah).

“Bukan. Novel.” Jawabku.

“Buset. Kirain bahan skripsi. Berapa ini?” Dia bertanya bak seorang informan.

“Seratus lima puluh.”

“Ya ampun. Ga bisa apa pinjem di perpus gitu. Ya ampun, Na, kamu ngapain beli novel kaya gini? Emangnya dibaca?”

Tepat saat itu hatiku sakit seperti disayat sembilu. Ugh, sakit mang! Oke, logikanya, kita ini sama-sama mahasiswa, sama-sama terbiasa membaca, entah itu bersifat akademik atau tidak, ya kan? Masihkah dia harus berkata seperti itu? Oke masih bisa dimaklum karena dia bukan mahasiswa sastra seperti aku. Tetapi, lain ceritanya ketika orang yang berkomentar masalah serius ini (buat seorang Ana ini serius) adalah mahasiswa sastra.

Mahasiswa sastra, kemungkinan pertama dia masuk ke jurusan ini adalah: (1) cinta sama karya sastra, (2) terinspirasi film, (3) mentok karena tidak diterima di jurusan lain, (4) hanya mengisi kekosongan, dan (5) kebetulan aja diterima alias iseng. Oke, ada banyak mahasiswa sastra yang rajin membaca, entah dimulai dari karya sastra pujangga angkatan ’45, hingga karya sastra populer seperti karya-karya Dee Lestari atau Andrea Hirata. Jika mahasiswa sastra Inggris bolehlah dari generasi Jane Austen sampai J.K. Rowling. Tetapi ada pula dari mereka yang tidak suka membaca sama sekali, eh kepepet baca novel ya hanya di kelas-kelas tertentu, semisal ‘Book Report’[i] (yang kalau kamu tidak membaca satu novel pun tidak akan lulus ujian). Ya ya ya, akhirnya komentar ini terlontar dari seorang teman –anak sastra Inggris juga:

“Ya ampun Ana bisa ngabisin seratus lima puluh ribu untuk beli novel? Mending buat beli baju deh.”

Cukup membuat saya tercengang dan ingin menangis saat itu. Yah, karena hampir sebagian besar barang yang aku miliki adalah buku, dari majalah bobo hingga bahkan buku ramalan. Ya, karena aku dan adikku sejak kecil dibiasakan membaca, jadi kami sudah tidak menemukan alasan: ‘mengapa kita tidak harus membelinya ketika buku itu bisa untuk dibaca?’

Ya, semua orang mempunyai ketertarikan mereka masing-masing. Tetapi, ketika sampai pada masalah membaca, mimpiku adalah orang akan menganggap itu hal biasa dan lumrah, bahwa membaca itu budaya, dan bahwa menghargai karya sastra itu tingkat tertinggi dari peradaban manusia.

Ya, maafkanlah generasi kami.

Maafkanlah.

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[i] Sebuah mata kuliah di jurusan Sastra Inggris UNS yang mengharuskan mahasiswa untuk membaca novel berbahasa Inggris dan melaporkan isi cerita (dan segala tetek bengeknya) dalam bentuk essay/paper dengan ujian lisan sesudahnya.

I'm blogging it now...

The rock hits your head. Indeed, you moan in pain. But, in fact you feel something strange in your stomach. Being hit is not something special, but being in pain is of course something. I mean, you know, when you can feel the pain, it means you are still alive. I rather choose it than I don't know what to do with my life.

Yeah, I'm blogging it now.

Wandering about life every morning after opening my eyes, hurts me so much. I don't know whether now I am in the right direction or just merely living in a box. Yeah, so called reality is something I can't deal with, when almost all my times live in social media, so called twitter.

[FANFIC] "I DON'T KNOW LOVE" part 24

[MIINAH]

I felt warm breath on my shoulder when I slightly opened my eyes. The shine of the sun entered the room through the window. I could feel today was another bright day. I turned my face and had a glimpse of the man I loved the most, slept facing my back. He was still sleeping soundly with his left hand on my waist and face half buried behind my shoulder. I chuckled remembering last night I asked him to sleep with me on the bed. Hopefully, none of the doctor or nurse came to check on me. I caressed his cheek with my thumb while turned my body to face him. “Hmmm…” He moaned, still closed his eyes, and still in deep sleep. I tucked some hairs from his face put it back behind his ear. I pulled myself to get closer into him, put my hand on his waist, shrugged my hand under his left hand which was still on my waist. I buried my face on his chest. I could smell his cologne. How long will it last? How long can I live with this scent? I shook my head to ignore any bad prediction.

“Hmm…” He moaned, and I peeked on his face, he slightly opened his eyelids, “Morning, honey.” He smiled while yawning, so cute.

“Morning.” I smiled back, and peck his lips. “How is your sleep?”

“Hmm…” he moved his body, and stretched his arm, made me easily hug him. Both of my hands lingered his waist. “Good.” He saw my eyes, and planted a kiss on my forehead, while his hand hugged me and rubbed my back. “Yours?” He asked while ruffling my hair gently.

“I don’t have any dream.” I said. “But I felt so warm last night, with you around.” I continued, hummed on his chest.

“Miinah-ahh, is your body not in pain anymore?” He asked.

“Why?” I asked.

“It seems you have a very huge energy to hug me. I’m afraid the infuse and needle go wrong.” He said, worriedly.

“I have it in my right hand, so it’s okay, look here.” I showed him my wrist. “It’s okay.” I eyed him. He was in a daze while seeing the needles. His mind seemed flying to somewhere else. “Dujun-ahh, are you okay?”

“Oh…” He faced me, and smile, “I am okay.” He said. “I’ll wake up and help you wash your face.”

“Why? What happens?” I asked him, curious why he wanted me to wash my face. “What’s with the occasion?” He pulled his body against mine.

“The boys are coming here today.” He said. “They had texted me last night.”

“Oh! Really?” I almost jumped from my place due to the shock. “Oh no, I need to look pretty.” I frowned.

“Why? You have always been pretty all this time.” He said. “Do not need to worry.” He loosened his hug. “I just want help you to wash your face, not give you make up, lady.” He chuckled. “Besides, I dislike other men look at your pretty face.” He slid his tongue.

“Hyaa.. Dujun-ahh… but, still…” when I started to nag, suddenly the entrance door opened, and I saw a boy with bright smile came to us. Both of us stiffened, as we still cuddling on the bed together.

“Nunaaaaaa….” That boy was Dongwoon, “I am hereeeee….” But he was frozen when finding me and Dujun lying on the bed. “You guys… what you… rr…” He lost his words.

“Miinah-ahh, I’m here, I bring you…” here came Yoseob with a plastic bag on his hand, “porridge.” He stood beside Dongwoon and got stiffened too. “You… you…” He pointed us.

“Dujun-ahh, how…” Now, Hyunseung was coming, and blankly stared at us, “are you?” Then he stood next to Dongwoon and Yoseob.

“Oh so, Miinah is here.” I could hear Kikwang’s voice, “Hi, guys why you standing there like that?” He was clueless until realizing the reason why his fellas standing like statue there.

“Miinah, I miss you!” Now, Junhyung’s voice echoed the room, “Hyaaa hyaaa you… give me space. Why you guys like this?” Junhyung almost jumped from his feet when he saw both of us, but he walked faster to the bed, “Hyaaa, neo, Dujun-ahh, wake up wake up, it’s already morning.” He patted Dujun’s butt. I couldn’t help but laughing on his action, followed by the others.

“Muhahahahaha….” Then the four other boys back to their senses. Yoseob put the plastic bag on the table beside the bed. Kikwang and Hyunseung sat on the couch, and Dongwoon opened the curtain. “They are a couple after all. Kekeke. We are so stupid, surprised just by seeing both of them lying on the same bed.” Yoseob was laughing hard.

Dujun got out from my bed, and covered me with the blanket gently, while talking to the boys, “You guys, why don’t you send me text first?” He hissed, “Look, both of us even haven’t washed up.” He said. Junhyung chuckled. “That’s your problem, cuddling into each other in the bright day. It has been ten in the morning, leader-nim. How could you still lazily lying around. You suppose have breakfast with her.” He said.

“Here, eat the porridge.” Yoseob opened the porridge box. “4minute girls cook it for you. They can’t visit you. That’s why they want me to give you this.”

“Oh, thank you. They are so nice.” I said, but really I felt so touch right now. “I will eat it.”

“I will feed her.” Dujun took the porridge. I looked at him. He always got jealous easily, he didn’t even want his friend touched me. Good, I shook my head.

“Sorry for my over-protective-boy, ya, guys.” I chuckled, followed by the other.

“By the way,” Hyunseung opened his mouth, “Here, the gift from B2utys, they left it in front of our dorm this morning.” Hyunseung handed a box of herbal medicine that you could drink it in once go. “They are indeed best fans around.” He smiled.

“Yups, that’s so true.” Kikwang said. “Look at their note above it.” Dujun took the box and read the note. I looked at his face. I felt so happy right now; I even have B2utys by my side…?

“Hi, B2ST oppa-deul, this medicine is not for you guys to drink. This is for Miinah unnie. Don’t dare to touch it, okay?” Dujun finished reading it, and smiled from ear to ear. “Nah, Miinah, this is for you.” He ruffled my hair, “I put it here, and you can drink it later.” He put the box below the table.

“B2utys accept me?” I mumbled in my disbelief.

“Yes.” The boys answered in sync. “They do.”

“Oh thank you…” I couldn’t help but crying of happiness. “And I am sorry for causing trouble to B2ST.”

“Hsss… you are not.” Junhyung squeezed my hand.

“Hyaaaaa, Junnie, that’s my girlfriend’s hand, how dare you touch it in front of me?!” Dujun yelped, made the others laugh.

Oh, thank God, for good people you send to me in my last days in this world.

---

[DUJUN]

“Thank you for the good job.” The PD approached me. I bowed to him. Today, I went to a talk show program to promote my current drama. Yes, after some weeks absent, a drama production crew offered me to cast as the male lead. My agency agreed to it, and I thought it would be a good chance for me to create new image after missing for weeks. It had been some weeks Miinah was hospitalized, and today she would be discharged.

“Drrrt drrrt...” my phone vibrated. “Yobeoseyeoo..”

“Dujunsshi, Miinah…” I could hear the very voice of Miinah’s dad, sounded worry.

“Yes, abojie, what happens?” I asked him, trying to stay calm and focus.

“She has been discharged from hospital. But, she doesn’t want to go home. She asked Young Gyu to bring her to her apartment.” Miinah’s dad explained worriedly. “Can you persuade her to go home? Or at least, let her stay with your family, if she dislike my idea.” He sighed.

“Oh, ne, abojie, I will go to her apartment, after this.” I said, while trying to wave my hand to Jintaek hyung. He was walking toward me, when Miinah’s dad hung the phone. “Hyung, I need to go to Miinah’s apartment.” I said. He nodded and handed me my car key. “I’ll call you later.” I ran to the exit door.

I turned on the car engine and drove it as fast as I can. What a stubborn girl. I sighed. I massaged my temple while reminding when her dad met my parents in the hospital back then. It seemed her dad liked my parents a lot. That was why he suggested me to bring Miinah to my parent’s home? He was right; I couldn’t be by her side 24 hours because I would be getting busy these days for filming the drama. If she were with eomma, she would always have someone to take good care of her.

“Marry her.” Miinah’s dad request echoed in my mind once again. That time I still hadn’t answered to it. “Marry her.” I shook my head in frustration.

Am I ready to do it?

Am I?

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to be cont