Monday, December 24, 2012

[FANFIC] "I DON'T KNOW LOVE" part 25



[DUJUN]
“Miinah?” The room was dim. I opened the door widely and entered the room. There was even no one lamp turned on. I removed my shoes, and wore the slippers that used to be mine. “Miinah?” my voice echoed the dim room. “Are you here?” I asked louder. “Miinah?!” no one answered me when I heard the sound of water flushed on toilet. I sighed in relief. “Miinah, are you okay?” I walked toward the bathroom slowly. The door opened slightly, and I could see a thin figure stood there, but suddenly she was back to the bathroom while gripping her stomach. “Miinah?” I ran toward her.
“Hoeeekkk… ugh…” I saw her throwing up everything in her stomach to the toilet. “Ugh…” She was on her knees while doing the stuff, and I rubbed her back, trying to help her. “Ehmm… Dujun-ahh…, Help me take my medicine please…!” she said while wiping her lips. “Ugh… I want… hoeeek…” she threw up again when I reached the table on which her medicines were. I took a glass of water on the side of them while walking fast to the toilet.
“Miinah…” I helped her to sit and flush the toilet. “Are you okay?” She nodded. “These are the medicines.” I handed the pills and the glass.
“Thank you.” She tried to reach my hands, but I could see her hands were trembling.
“No. I will feed you.” I said, short. “Open your mouth.” I saw Miinah widened her eyes. “I don’t have time to argue with you.” I demanded. She slightly opened her mouth; I took the medicines and helped her to gulp down the water. “Now, let’s go to bed.” I said, held her shoulder. She tried to stand up on her feet while gripping her stomach. “Do you want to throw up again?” I asked. She shook her head.
“No.” she said, “I…,” before she ended her words, I could feel her body shivering so badly.
“I will carry you.” Without any agreement from her, I carried her in a bridal style, I saw her eyes which eyed me, she lingered her hands on my neck. “How about you live with my family in Ilsan?” I asked her, trying to sound not so demanding.
“Why?” she asked in a low voice after landed safely in her bed.
“Because I can’t let you live alone like this.” I said, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You know, you will have Duri nuna, or eomma to help you.”
“I don’t…,” she held her breath, “need help.”
“What?” I looked at her moist eyes, “After what happened just now? If I were not here, what will you do?” I frowned.
“I…,” she uttered, “But your mother, your sister, they will get burdened of me.”
“They will not!” I yelped.
“Why did you yell to me?” she said every words with pressure.
“I did not!” I stood and looked at her.
“Go out, Dujun!” she pointed the door, “I want to sleep.” She continued.
“Miinah-ah… I am sorry…,” I walked toward her, “I am just so… tired.” I said, couldn’t find the right word.
“I said: GO OUT. LEAVE ME ALONE!” she yelped and covered her body with the blanket. “I don’t have energy to argue with you.” She mumbled.
“Miinah-ahh…” I tried to squeeze her shoulder.
“Please….” She said. “Me too, Dujun-ahh, tired as well.”
---
[MIINAH]
How come he said he was tired… in front of me just now. How come…? I knew he was tired. I knew it perfectly… that I was a burden for him. How could… he yell to me…? I knew his schedule was no joke, and he still needed to take care of me. What kind of girlfriend I am…?
I wiped the tears that formed on the corner of my eyes, and pulled the blanket closer to my body. This night was as cold as my heart. I hated myself for being so fragile. I sighed. I couldn’t shut my eyes off. It must have been an hour after Dujun closed the front door and left me alone. I felt want to throw up again that made me hastily kick the blanket and ran to the toilet.
When I finished the stuff, I heard the door knob being opened. I stiffened on my feet. I saw a tall figure wore the slippers; he brought a black plastic bag. He walked slowly to the kitchen while unbuttoning one or two of his shirt. He didn’t notice me standing here because of the dim light I guess. Or, probably he was to absorb with his own thoughts. I saw him took a glass from the cupboard. Soju? I tried to get the better vision but it failed. I could hear he took bowls as well, and a set of spoon. He opened the plastic bag while trying to turn on the light.
“Dujun.” I whispered, and walked to the kitchen. He turned on his body to face me.
“Hi.” He faked smile, “you wake up already?”
I just nodded. “What are you doing?” I eyed the stuffs he bought.
“These are abalone porridge for you and herbal medicine.” He said, not looking at my face, and back to his work, put the porridge to the bowls and poured the medicine to the glasses.
“Why you bought two of each?” I asked, got closer to him.
“It seems I need it too.” He smiled, “And… I am sorry for earlier.”
“Why don’t you go back to your dorm?” I said, helped him prepare the late supper. “You should take a rest. You are tired.” I said, trying to sound calm.
“Miinah… sorry for earlier… I am not tired at all.” He said, lying to me.
“Liar!” I rather yelped. “Why must have you always lied to me?” I shed tears.
“Miinah…!” he tried to reach me. “What happen actually with you?”
“Why, Dujun-ahh? Why?” I couldn’t handle this feeling anymore. I cried while gripping my skirt. “Why you need to lie to me every time?” I wiped my tears. “If you are tired, say it to me, loudly!” I patted his chest. “Why….” I crawled to the floor. “Why….”
“Miinah….”
“I am sorry for coming to your life…” I cried; let the tears of mine fell to the floor. “I am sorry….”
---
to be cont

Thursday, December 20, 2012

[COVER-AUDIO] SECRET'S TALK THAT


Wohoooo my another creepy song cover --doodooong!
This time is the song from Secret that I'm in love with, Talk That, yeay!
*if you decide to listen to this, please use headset lol*

[Today's Pic] Today's Google I Love It!

pic taken by me - not for commercial uses

[Today's Story] 4:16 121220

Hi, world...

It's already morning again... and already Thursday again... and the day of pre-booked Mubank ticket... and I still don't know what kind of ticket I should buy... and I don't know how much the chance I can go to there. Yeah, it's not matter of money, it's a matter of responsibility, meanwhile I am still working on my thesis and hoping I will be able to finish it before March 9 (next year). 

Hmm, if I decide not to go, I can't guarantee how hurt my heart will be, because the one I love is going to be there... BEAST... and of course, Yoon Dujun. 

Imma watch movies later on the cinema -5cm it will be great. 
Dayuuum~



Wednesday, December 19, 2012

MIDNITE

Hi, dear, Dujun...
Do you read this?
Do you?
Do you?

I don't even feel it...

[MV REVIEW] POMEGRANATE IN CAFFEINE MV

Hi, it happens I have a question from my beloved @/amarvica on twitter which still has relation with Yoseop's Caffeine MV: 'What does the meaning of pomegranate which appears in the beginning of this MV?' Ehm... at first I didn't see this fruit there, but after watching it again, yeah here they are:


Actually pomegranate symbolized many kind of things, depend on the conceptual significance. The most famous one comes from the Ancient Greek Literature:
The pomegranate appears many times in Greek mythology. It is most famous in the story of Persephone and is known in classic Greek myth as a symbol of fertility and bounty. To summarize the story, Hades, king of the underworld, takes Persephone to the underworld. Demeter, goddess of crops and Persephone's mother, became enraged and stopped crop growth. Zeus then ordered the release of Persephone. Hades, before she leaves, forces her to eat pomegranate seeds and thus doomed the goddess to the underworld for a portion of every year. From then on, while Persephone is underground, agricultural growth stops and the world turns dry; when she rises back to the world, the earth begins producing an abundance of crops and flowers. Hence, Persephone's eating of the pomegranate seed represents the changing of seasons; her rise to earth represents spring and rejuvenation; her descent represents the winter's approach and death. Pomegranates, thus, symbolize fertility, resurrection, and fruitfulness while also being the significance of changing times and seasons.(EHOW)
So, I can conclude that the pomegranate in this MV is to show us the meaning of changing times and seasons. Why? Because according to the concept of this MV and the story line, we can see that Yoseop is happen to having through all the 'moving on thingy' from his beautiful love relationship into a single/solo. This means the changing times of his life. That's why the pomegranate appears in the very beginning of this MV after Yoseop paying enough attention to the sheep/lambs to show us the setting time. Kekeke. I mean, the setting time is after they break up, and in the middle of going to 'move on'. Well, yeah, he still stuck there thou. Look, the knife on them and stuck on the table, wohoo. Stuck, stuck, and stuck. The time stuck there - s t u c k.

Read the previous complete review here: mv review yang yoseop's caffeine: is caffeine bad?

[Today's Story] If I am Not Useful Anymore




If I am not useful anymore, what should you do?
If I am not useful anymore, will you stay by my side?
If I am not useful anymore, will you leave me?
If I am not useful anymore, will you ditch me?
If I am not useful anymore, will you still love me?
If I am broken, will you fix me?
Friends, you, fix me, please.
Oh no, I don’t have friends.
Thanks, Lord.

-bebebebeauty-

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

[Today's Story] unstoppable caffeine consuming



Woke up on my bed, found myself lying alone, I saw the ceiling, and found myself amaze with this another new day. Today, what should I do... what should I finish… what kind of thing I had missed yesterday… Yeah, the thoughts came to me like an unstoppable storm. Today, I have an appointment with friends to go to ‘noraebang’ since we still have a free pass card to be used. Yeah, I bet today I will just go and take some airs from the long road I will have taken to reach there. Ehm, then I clicked on my playlist after doing some exercises (with my body art DVD), and the song happened to Yoseob’s Caffeine. Well, the very floating song among others. I mean, when you listen to it, you are gonna find yourself stuck on a very weird box and you just wandering there like a fool. That’s what I feel every time listening to this song. I don’t know why, but the rhythm, music, and Yoseob’s voice always successfully bring me to the highest hangover. Then this morning, I am still struggling to get rid of this. But, my life is full with unstoppable caffeine consuming. So, yeah, I bet, I may just accept what I should have taken.

Monday, December 17, 2012

[Today's Story] GENERASI LUPA BUKU



“Ya ampun Ana bisa ngabisin seratus lima puluh ribu untuk beli novel? Mendingan buat beli baju deh.”
“Ya ampun, Na, kamu ngapain beli novel kaya gini? Emangnya dibaca?”
Oke, namaku Ana dan aku anak gaul #eh yang suka ngabisin duit buat beli buku dan novel, kadang juga komik. Kisah ini dimulai setelah aku membeli novel terjemahan terbaru karya J.K Rowling (pada tahu kan, itu tuh ibunya Harry Potter? Oke skip ini) berjudul ‘The Casual Vacancy’ yang kebetulan seharga seratus lima puluh ribu rupiah. Sebenarnya standar sih, karena yah, kita tahu kan karya sastra itu mahal harganya, ide itu mahal harganya, dan karya sastra wajib dihargai dengan nilai yang pantas.
Sore itu sehabis mandi aku udah di dalam kamar kost siap melahap novel dengan ketebalan hampir serupa skripsi-skripsi berdebu di perpus kampus ini, ketika seorang teman kost masuk ke dalam sambil bergaya ingin mengajak ngobrol. Sebut saja Mawar (oke, nama disamarkan), dia duduk di sampingku sambil melihat novel tebal itu.
“Eh ini apa Na? Tebel banget deh. Buat bahan skrispi?” Ehm jadi ketauan deh kalau aku adalah mahasiswa tingkat akhir yang masih berjuang mengerjakan skripsi (doain yah).
“Bukan. Novel.” Jawabku.
“Buset. Kirain bahan skripsi. Berapa ini?” Dia bertanya bak seorang informan.
“Seratus lima puluh.”
“Ya ampun. Ga bisa apa pinjem di perpus gitu. Ya ampun, Na, kamu ngapain beli novel kaya gini? Emangnya dibaca?”
Tepat saat itu hatiku sakit seperti disayat sembilu. Ugh, sakit mang! Oke, logikanya, kita ini sama-sama mahasiswa, sama-sama terbiasa membaca, entah itu bersifat akademik atau tidak, ya kan? Masihkah dia harus berkata seperti itu? Oke masih bisa dimaklum karena dia bukan mahasiswa sastra seperti aku. Tetapi, lain ceritanya ketika orang yang berkomentar masalah serius ini (buat seorang Ana ini serius) adalah mahasiswa sastra.
Mahasiswa sastra, kemungkinan pertama dia masuk ke jurusan ini adalah: (1) cinta sama karya sastra, (2) terinspirasi film, (3) mentok karena tidak diterima di jurusan lain, (4) hanya mengisi kekosongan, dan (5) kebetulan aja diterima alias iseng. Oke, ada banyak mahasiswa sastra yang rajin membaca, entah dimulai dari karya sastra pujangga angkatan ’45, hingga karya sastra populer seperti karya-karya Dee Lestari atau Andrea Hirata. Jika mahasiswa sastra Inggris bolehlah dari generasi Jane Austen sampai J.K. Rowling. Tetapi ada pula dari mereka yang tidak suka membaca sama sekali, eh kepepet baca novel ya hanya di kelas-kelas tertentu, semisal ‘Book Report’[i] (yang kalau kamu tidak membaca satu novel pun tidak akan lulus ujian). Ya ya ya, akhirnya komentar ini terlontar dari seorang teman –anak sastra Inggris juga:
“Ya ampun Ana bisa ngabisin seratus lima puluh ribu untuk beli novel? Mending buat beli baju deh.”
Cukup membuat saya tercengang dan ingin menangis saat itu. Yah, karena hampir sebagian besar barang yang aku miliki adalah buku, dari majalah bobo hingga bahkan buku ramalan. Ya, karena aku dan adikku sejak kecil dibiasakan membaca, jadi kami sudah tidak menemukan alasan: ‘mengapa kita tidak harus membelinya ketika buku itu bisa untuk dibaca?’
Ya, semua orang mempunyai ketertarikan mereka masing-masing. Tetapi, ketika sampai pada masalah membaca, mimpiku adalah orang akan menganggap itu hal biasa dan lumrah, bahwa membaca itu budaya, dan bahwa menghargai karya sastra itu tingkat tertinggi dari peradaban manusia.
Ya, maafkanlah generasi kami.
Maafkanlah.


[i] Sebuah mata kuliah di jurusan Sastra Inggris UNS yang mengharuskan mahasiswa untuk membaca novel berbahasa Inggris dan melaporkan isi cerita (dan segala tetek bengeknya) dalam bentuk essay/paper dengan ujian lisan sesudahnya.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

I'm blogging it now...

The rock hits your head. Indeed, you moan in pain. But, in fact you feel something strange in your stomach. Being hit is not something special, but being in pain is of course something. I mean, you know, when you can feel the pain, it means you are still alive. I rather choose it than I don't know what to do with my life.

Yeah, I'm blogging it now.

Wandering about life every morning after opening my eyes, hurts me so much. I don't know whether now I am in the right direction or just merely living in a box. Yeah, so called reality is something I can't deal with, when almost all my times live in social media, so called twitter.