[FANFIC] "I DON'T KNOW LOVE" part 30 (FINAL)

[DUJUN]

11:00 pm

She seemed bored. I had won several times over her. But, she didn’t seem want to end it. I didn’t know why back then she suddenly brought up the topic of our limited time being together. I eyed how she immersed playing the whining although I had known she never had any interest on game. I put the joystick on the carpet. Silently my hands ran through her waist, and pulled her closer to my body so her back on my chest while I folded my legs. She turned her face, surprised. “Wae wae?” she blinked. I just shook my head, “Ani… I’m just bored.” I said. She then abandoned the joystick and intertwined my fingers with hers. “What should we do next?” I asked.

 “Let’s have a nice conversation… I’m bored too.” She said. I smirked. Look, she was really bored.

“That sounds nice.” I said, “You want me to make you coffee?”

“Nope. We are not going to chat here.” She said, while pecked my cheek. “Take your jacket, let’s walk on the neighborhood. I want to eat the ddeobeokki…” She stood from her place and dragged me so I stood from my seat as well.

“Are you sure?” I asked, followed her who took her jacket.

“Yes.” She said. “Why?” She took my jacket, “Jaaa, wear this.” She helped me to wear the jacket.

“Since its cold, let’s have a fast walk, eat ddeobeokki, and back here, araseo?” I said, while hugging her shoulder. She nodded, “Araseoyooong~” I giggled seeing her aegyo.

“Kajaaaaaa….!”

---

11:30 pm

“Dujunie…” she whispered when both of us nearly reached the street vendor around the neighborhood. She linked her hand on my arm. I touched his hand with my cold palm.

“Wae?”

“Don’t forget to read the invitation letter on the fridge.”

“What invitation?”

“You gonna find out once you read it.”

“Oh, I am curious.”

“You have to!” She giggled. “Promise me, you won’t neglect the letter.”

“What is it exactly?” I gazed her.

“It’s a surprise!” She said while running to the vendor which was right in front of us. “Don’t ask anymore. Palliwaaaa…” She reached the vendor and talked to the ahjumma.

“Miinah-ah… wait…” I walked toward her.

“Jaaa… here, your deokbeokki.” She said while her hand ran through to me to feed me a deokk.

“Ahm… gomawoo…” I said as I ate the deokk.

“Delicious, right?” she asked while asking the ahjumma to serve two cups of deokkbeokki. “Let’s eat it at the park; I want to ride the swing.” She continued, handed a cup of them, and dragged me to the park.

“Miinah-ahh, it’s cold.” I said, “Don’t you feel cold?”

“Ani…” She said. “Palliiii….”

“What a stubborn girl.” Lazily I followed her to the park. Once she reached the park, she ran to the swings, and sat there while waving her hands to me.

“Araseo araseo…” I hissed, but still I ran to the swings, and sat on the swing beside her.

“Look, the stars…” she whispered. I looked at the sky. “Haissh… none of them appeared.” She hissed made me laugh. “Seoul is a boring city.” She ate the deokbeokki while sighing.

“I have one here.” I said, smiled.

“Odiga?” She asked, curious.

I fingered her nose. “Neo e nae byeol.”

“Mwo?”

“You are my star.” I yelled.

“Shireo.” She said, ate the deokkbeokki again.

“Wae?”

“There are many stars in the sky.” She hissed. “How could you compare me with star?”

“Mwo?”

“That was so last year style to seduce girl.” She pouted her lips, “I want to be the moon.”

“Wae?”

“Because you see… there is only a moon in the sky.” She reasoned. “Think, if I were a star, how about you? I f I were a moon, you would be a sun.” She smiled. “I’ll get the shine of you, and deliver it to the earth. What a nice couple.” She said, “So, I don’t want to be a star. So many stars, I do not want.”

“But, that is the art, Miinah… among those stars I choose you… what a fate.” I whispered. She looked at me. I knew she was blushing now. “Look, which is better?”

“Ah molla molla….” She shook her head. “Just eat your deokk.” She once again watched the sky. “But, this night, none of them appeared, even the moon. Only clouds are hanging there.”

“It’s also a cold night, Miinah.” I said, at the same time realizing she was trembling. “Cold?” I removed my jacket and covered her back when I saw some bruises in her neck. “What’s with the bruises?”

“Oh?” She gazed me, while quickly covered the bruises with her palms. “It’s nothing.” She said.

“That’s why you order a gown which can cover your neck. Ani, your gown had covered all of your body. That’s why this night you seem don’t like me touching you? Let me see, how many bruises you have on your body?” I gripped her wrist. “Why you keep it secret from me?” I yelled.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asked in frustration. “This is nothing.” She pulled her hand. “I told you this is nothing, Dujun-ahh!”

“Aniya!” I successfully gripped her wrist and opened the sleeve; I saw some more bruises on her arm. “What are they?” I asked, my tears fell.

“You know it already, don’t ask again.” She stood from the swing and walked fast to the park gate. “Let’s go back. It’s cold.” She said.

I wiped my tears. How come she hides them from me? What a fool, you, Yoon Dujun. I followed her, walked back to the apartment. There’s nothing gonna happen. Everything’s gonna be alright.

---

Oct 14, 2013

00:30 am

“Cold… It’s so cold.” She whispered.

“I have turned on the heater.” I said. “Wait, I’ll make you tea.”

“Dujun…”

“Wait, Miinah, I’ll take your medicine.” I walked to the kitchen. “And some water. Wait.”

“Dujun…”

“Wait… wait…” I said, “You are gonna be alright.”

“Dujun…”

“Ahh I’ll take the hand warmer too, wait.”

“YOON DUJUN!” she yelped. I got frozen, my body trembled, and I wiped my tears as I ran to her.

“Wae?” I asked, sat beside her on the couch.

“Why are you so busy?” She whispered. “Lift me to the bed. I don’t think I can walk.” She said. “It’s so damn cold. We shouldn’t have had a night walking before.” She laughed.

“Don’t talk.” I hissed while lifting her to the bedroom. “You stay here. I’ll bring you something warm.” I said once she landed on the bed. I really didn’t know what I should do now. She was okay before, but suddenly she kept saying ‘it’s so cold… it’s so cold…’.

“Dujun-ahh…”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t go anywhere. Stay with me here.” She said. “You are a lot warmer than anything. Come here.” She patted the space beside her.

“But, Miinah…”

“Dujun-ahh, listen to me…” She insisted. “I want you to embrace me now. Palli…” I then laid beside her. “This is better.” I pulled her closer to my body, she nuzzled on my neck. I held my tears. “It’s indeed very cold.” She whispered. I patted her back when I saw the bruises on her neck once again. I guessed there were many more in her body. Unconsciously I slightly kissed the bruise. She gazed me. “Dujun…” I kept silent. I opened her sleeve, I saw some other bruises, and I slightly kissed them. “Dujun-ahh…” She whispered, “What are you doing?”

I kept kissing the bruises without realizing my tears fell to her skin.

“Dujun…” She held my arm. “Stop it, won’t you?” I stopped my action and looked at her eyes. “Don’t cry like that… You promise me to smile… why you easily forget it, you, amnesia!” she caressed the tears on my cheeks.

I just looked at her, stiffened. I ran my fingers through her black hair. She closed her eyes. I kissed both of them. She opened her eyes, smiled, and pecked my lips. “Gomawoo…” She said. I couldn’t stop the tears to fall. “Don’t cry…” She whispered.

“Miinah-yaah…” I sobbed. I cupped her cheeks, and kissed her lips, deep.

“Dujun-ahh…” She moaned. “It’s not cold anymore.” She continued. “Thank you for everything.” We deepened our kiss. “I love you…” She whispered.

“No… no… I still don’t know love…” I said in between our kiss, “Please teach me more. Don’t leave me.” I whispered.

“I love…,” suddenly I felt that Miinah had loosened her hug on me and her hand fell to the bed. I stopped the kiss. The first came on my sight was her lips.

Her lips…

Lips…

Blood…

Her lips bleeding…

I was in a daze.

Lips…

Blood…

I touched my lips. I saw blood on my fingers. I eyed Miinah who had completely closed her eyes.

Blood…

“Min… Min…?” I caressed her lips. The blood was all over my palm. “Miinah??” I yelled as there was no answer from her. “Are you here, right?” I hugged her, “No… you are not going to anywhere!” I cried as louder as I could, “Miinah, don’t leave me! I still don’t know love.” I tightened my embrace.

“MIINAH… TEACH ME LOVE…” Tears kept coming more, more, and more. “MIINAH… I STILL DON’T KNOW LOVE!”

There was no answer from her.

Her voice I couldn’t hear it.

I was alone.

Alone.

---

Oct 16, 2013

“Annyeonghaseyo, yeoreobeun. Today must be the exhibition day. And since this video is being played right now, I must have been gone to the next life. No, don’t be sad to know the fact. I must be happy there. So, just pray for me.

Well, as you can see, today is the first exhibition I hold. Don’t be so surprised if you will find many photos of my husband. I hope before I’m gone, I am already his wife. Hehehe. Uhh, I’m sorry, am I funny, hyaa, Syung Chul ahh? Ah mianhaeyo, he is my very loyal bodyguard.

I leave this video because I want to open my own exhibition. Although my body is not with you, my soul will remain here. This exhibition is dedicated to my only greatest man in my life, Yoon Dujun (Miinah looked trying to hold her laugh, but failed). Uhh, I am sorry… I must be sounded so cheesy right now, but once you walked to the exhibition hall you will find out what I mean.

Hyaa, Yoon Dujun, you must be happy knowing that I love you so much? Don’t think too much about love, you won’t understand it, and you don’t need to understand, just enjoy it. I love you… jinjja saranghaeyo.

So, with this, the exhibition is opened (Miinah bowed). Oh, and congratulation for BEAST’ anniversary! Chukae Junhyung, Hyunseung, Yoseob, Gikwang, Dongwoon. Please keep accompanying Dujun, thank you! (Miinah waved her hands happily).”

When the video ended, I held my tears while grabbed the invitation letter. People stood and walked toward me, Miinah’s friends who worked with her to hold this exhibition shook my hand one by one, some of them bowed; one of them said “Yoon Dujun-sshi, you don’t know how much she loves you. This is her dream.” I just simply nodded. “Thank you so much.” I replied while smiled.

“With this, let’s enjoy the exhibition entitled ‘MEMORIES’ by Choi Miinah.” Said the MC. People clapped, looked at me and I bowed as I was Miinah’s husband. I walked first to the hall, people followed behind me. BEAST members walked beside me. I saw Miinah’s dad smiled to me, and walked toward me, he patted my shoulder while saying “Thank you for giving my daughter a beautiful love.” Then he went to his colleagues.

“Dujun-ahh…” Junhyung patted my back, “They are amazing…” He said.

“What?” I whispered.

“Those…” He pointed to the hall, my eyes followed his finger.

I stiffened.

Completely in a daze.

Thank you, my princess, Miinah.

I was amazed by the hundreds photos of me. All of them hung beautifully on the wall. I didn’t know when Miinah took them all. There I saw the photo of me sleeping, yawning, laughing, watching TV, smiling, thinking, and many more. There are also photos of our favorite places. I walked seeing them one by one, until I reached the end of the hall, there hanging our wedding photo, Miinah was smiling brightly while clinging on my arm. I couldn’t hold my tears.

“Miinah, saranghae…” I whispered.

When I read the title under the frame, my tears had fallen to my cheeks.

‘Me too don’t know love,

But I feel you.’

Miinah, gomawo, with these memories, I will never feel alone…

I love you…

-FIN-

n.b. bruise is a tender area of skin discoloration caused by blood leaking from blood vessels damaged by pressure or impact.

***

-thank you for reading, I'll be back with another fanfic of Dujun-