[FANFIC] GOOD BYE TO ROMANCE 10

THE PAST

 

Have you ever felt like being a prisoner in an unknown place? It feels so uneasy and every time you want to breathe, you just can’t. You have been trapped in four walls of darkness. There is no way out. You can’t see a door nor window nor a slight alley way. You fold your legs and hug them tight while closing your eyes and thinking of an escape way. But, the thing comes to your mind is none other than, death.

“If your dad were still in this state, you will be the next successor, Jae In.” Grandma said this noon. “That is why now you are here.” She sat on her chair proudly. “That is the responsibility of yours towards this family, Jae In.” She continued. “You have been a twenty three this year.”

“What?” My jaw dropped as I stood blankly in front of her table. “Geundae, nae ga waeyo?” I asked, “I know nothing about this family.” I added.

“You will know us better soon.” She uttered. “I’ll let geu jashik, Hyunseungie, to keep accompany you.” Grandma smiled, stood from her chair, and walked toward me, “I have warned him to not come regularly to this house, but he keeps insisting, who’s at fault now. So, now it’s the time he should help you, help this family.”

“Who is Hyunseung actually?” I asked. “Why must him?”

“Don’t ask me. Ask him instead, Jae In,” She said, “halmonie don’t really put interest on the youth’s games. The most important thing is, go to your dad, now.” And with that I went to the hospital but in my mind was none other than the one-night-stand-Yoon-Dujun. I had forgotten about being successor, or about who exactly Hyunseung was. But, now after seeing dad lying unconscious like that, I felt like being trapped, I couldn’t run, except I died. And … puff … I had forgotten about that one-night-stand. But, now, when I saw Dujun’s face once again, I just couldn’t help my mind flied to a night … he … and … a woman … in his apartment … gyaah.

“Jae In? Jae In? JANG JAE IN!”

“Ah wae wae?” I saw the face of Hae Bum oppa looked at me thoroughly. “Mian… I thought about something… just now.” I took my coffee, and sipped it.

“Something?” He eyed me. “Like what?”

“Ah aniya. It’s not something important.” I hissed.

“Oh really?” He gazed Dujun who silently on his chair, watching me and Hae Bum oppa. “What do you think about what she thought actually, Dujunie?”

“Ehm molla.” He said. “I don’t care.”

“Huh.” I folded my hands on the table, “I don’t need your care by the way.” I hissed.

“Anyway, we don’t know each other well, so why bother me …” he mumbled.

“Not me. That … that is Hae Bum oppa’s doing.” I pouted my lips.

“Guys, what happen with you both?” Hae Bum oppa sighed. “You guys once are a very lovely couple. Don’t you remember?” What he said made me widened my eyes. What’s with this oppa? Aish.

“That was in the past, oppa.” I said.

Dujun looked at me. His eyes kept watching me. I turned my gaze to another direction.

“Geurae, that’s all just a lame joke of our past, hyung.” He said. “What you saw back then was just illusion, hyung.” He added, while gulping down his soda water, “a complete joke.”

I didn’t have any idea how his words actually hurt me … like a knife being stabbed into my heart. But, the thing comes to your mind is none other than, death. That’s right ….

***

“Hae Seo neun, oppa?” I asked Hae Bum oppa after nicely sat in his car. Finally the ‘pizza dinner’ session had ended. And Dujun had gone from my sight. “How is she? I haven’t met her these days. I want to visit her.”

“We live separately, Jae In.” He replied. “She lives with mom and dad. And I have my own apartment near the hospital I have been working at. Come visit her with me!” added Hae Bum oppa while started the engine which I replied with “Okay”.

“I will drive you home. Where is your address?” I told my address to him.

“Is Dujun popular nowadays, oppa?” I asked when the car slowly moved. At once, he stopped his eyes on me while kept his hands on the steer.

“Hyaaa…” He hit my forehead.

“Aww… it hurts hyaa oppa!” I screamed.

“Your question is just so ridiculous. What do you mean by ‘popular’?” He sighed. “Of course, he is very popular,” he said, “super popular.”

“Back then in his trainee days he was so diligent, right oppa?” I uttered. “Do you remember?” I asked.

“Who can forget those moments?” He mumbled. “That was just so tough condition for him,” he inhaled, “and for you.”

“Naega wae?” I hurriedly hissed. “Not even once for me.”

“So, why you left us? No. Left him like that?” He asked.

“That … that was his own fault.” I answered. “I never once felt sick spending my time like that with him.” I added. “That was our last year of high school when he was accepted as trainee, right oppa?” I continued. “After he watched that what it was … Big Bang documentary or whatsoever, he who loved to be a PE teacher, and who was a captain of soccer team suddenly wanted to be an idol. And I was the first who supported him.”

“I know.” He said, “Then what? Why?”

“You know that shoes girl nick name of mine …?” I really disliked discussing this stuff.

“When you cried on me? That day … I remember.”

“He was the one who started it first.” I said. “Is it enough?” I looked at Hae Bum oppa’s face that was frozen.

“You mean …”

“Yes. He never once revealed to our friends that I was his girlfriend even back then.” I said. “You know, the only one who knew it was just you, oppa, and Hae Seo.” He looked at me, expressionless. “When I struggled like that for our relationship, he just saw me being bullied by others.” I held my breath, intertwined my fingers. “That hurt me. While every day I waited him coming home from his agency, and he would never once say about that case.” I closed my eyes. “That was so irritating.”

“That was such childish reason, Jae In.” Hae Bum oppa held the steer tight. “I don’t believe that kind of reason.”

“Well, what do you want then?”

“The real reason why you leave us!” He frowned.

“He cheated on me! Cheated!” I yelled, and shut my lips at once.

***

Yes. It was not like I liked being his secret girl friend. But, you know, he was so popular back then as a soccer team captain. He asked me to go out with him but wanted me to accept the fact that he couldn’t unveil our relationship because of his fans. I said nothing. I directly agreed. I didn’t know why that time I just completely fell for him. That was actually his fatal fault, for making me fall for him. I hated him for coming to my life, and destroyed my imagination of romance I had dreamt entire my life. Moreover, those training days, he never once shared his tiredness with me. Did he really love me? Did he really see me as his girl friend? I kept asking that question every day, and every night. But, he answered me directly while doing that unacceptable stuff with his trainee fellow, in front of my own eyes. He completely had lost my trust and perhaps my love at that time onward. I sighed.

***

-to be cont-