[FANFIC] "I DON'T KNOW LOVE" part 11

This morning I waited her while got so nervous. I waited for an hour already, in front of her house. She was sure a daughter of chaebol. Although I was an idol at this moment, but my family was just so-so. I felt so inferior, but when she opened the gate which was very very big (that you couldn’t even imagine there was one of this kind in Ilsan), I threw away all my less confidence. She ran toward me while smiling so brightly. She looked so fresh and pure, just like usual her. Her smile attracted me, even in the first time we met; I couldn’t think any other than how bright this girl. Miinah could always bring that happiness around me, and like a warm jacket, she was very comfortable to be worn and so nice to touch and hug and… kiss. What kiss? What was I thinking right now? I had been gone so crazy, I bet – crazy over this little girl. No, no, not like she was a lot younger than me, but Miinah was sure a little girl, not so tall, and just fitted enough on my chest when I hugged her, which I just barely did it. No, I did it once. I just hugged her once and held her hands once. I did nothing at all, for a month we were on date. Even in the first day we officially became a couple, I just looked at her in the side when she looked busy watching that ‘A Moment to Remember’ movie. She never knew how nervous I was back then, just like now. Today was our third date, if I might call it like that. I was so busy, that I could barely see her.

“Dujun-ahh.” She stood in front of me. I got blinded by her smile, and her shining eyes, everything. “Dujun-ahh, wae? Wae? Is my makeup so bold?” she asked while touching my hands which I could feel the electrifying all around my body.

“Oh, I have waited for almost an hour, you know?” no doubt, I was just putting on act.

“Mian, mian, uri appa, is an evil, you know? Mian mian, uhm uhm, yeobeo?” she tried to put some aegyo that made me melt.

“Ne, ne, araseo.” I held her hand, “Let’s go.”

“Odiga?” she asked.

“Just follow me.” I said. I would bring you to the best place ever, Miinah-ah.

“On foot?” she asked again.

“Yes.” I answered.

“What?” she stopped for awhile.

“Just kid, we gonna catch the bus in the bus stop. There!” I pointed the bus stop, right in the corner of the street.

“Ehm… I never ride a bus.” She said.

I laughed.

She looked at me.

We both laughed together.

---

“Dujunie, I don’t know that you gonna bring me here.” I could hear her very soft voice while her eyes saw me with a liter of tears going to fall. “Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for what?” I asked. I didn’t know I just wanted to ask this unnecessarily question.

“Thank you for everything, the first time ever of riding the bus, and now the … beach.” She hugged me, my heart beat so fast. She sobbed in my embrace. “I love you.”

I got frozen at the moment she said ‘I love you’, this was the first time, she said this very important words. And she kept repeating the ‘I love you I love you I love you’ like really million times now. We were hugging each other while sitting in the sand.

“Why do you love me?” I asked. And the sound of ocean in sudden was so romantic, in my ears.

“I just love you, love you. I don’t know. Heart is chosen, not choosing.” She answered.

Frozen.

The heart never chose, but it is chosen instead. That was why you chose me, Miinah-ah?

“I have been chosen by you,” she said.

“And me too, being chosen by you?” I asked.

“Yes, I never choose you, but my heart just goes all the way to you, because you have chosen it.” She smiled, “thank you, I love you.”

“Na doo, I love you.” I took an ipod, ‘I have a gift for you.” I continued.

“Dujunahh… you don’t need to…” she sobbed.

“This is not just an ipod.” I plug the headset in her ears. “I made it for you.”

Miinah listened to it, and got so speechless. I looked at his facial expression, what will she react?

“Dujunahh… you crazy boy… this is so sweet.” She hugged me, “Thank you, dear.” She kissed my cheek. “I will save it. I love you so much…”

I looked at how happy she was. She was repeating the audio I recorded last night, when this feeling came to me. I wanted to be her only man. I touched her cheeks, and took one of the headsets and plugged it on my right ear, I could hear my own voice, and while smiling, I kissed her. She looked surprised for a moment, but she realized the situation fast, and joined me in our first kissing scene.

This was just like a scene from a movie. Our first kiss, sitting on the sand, while the sound of sea waves sound so romantic, and my voice in ipod, was talking about:

“Miinah-ahh, I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you. Thank you for smiling so bright for me.”

Even the stars in the sky got envied with our new beautiful love.

---

I smiled at our old memories. Now all were so different. I listened to my very own voice through Miinah’s ipod. I believed she still loved me. I took my jacket off, and put it around her body. After a year she left me, she looked so thin. I didn’t know what happen to her, but if God were still here, I wanted Him to help me be his man once again. Why was I like this over a girl? The answer was because this girl was the only one.

“Ehmmm…” it seemed she got a dream. She moved her head, and opened her eyes. She looked at me. I saw her. “Dujunahh, why you…?” she found my jacket on her body, and took it off “This.” She gave it to me.

“You must be so tired.” I said, I hope I could start a nice conversation with her.

“Ehm… thank you by the way.” She stood from her seat, and moved to the side of the door.

“Do you stop here?” I asked, I looked at the next destination, this was around her apartment. “Do you still live there?” I stood beside her.

There was no reply from her.

The train stopped, she walked out, and didn’t even look at me. I followed her. She didn’t complain, and I just followed her all the way. This was so true; Miinah was still living in the same apartment. When did she return there? I followed her took the lift. And when the door lift opened, I could see someone standing in front of the lift with a worried facial expression. That was none other than Junhyung. I got so speechless, did not even know what to say. Miinah walked out from the lift, and I stood still, frozen. I could hear Junhyung said: “Are you okay? Let’s go get you warm.” I guess, he didn’t even see me standing here.

Junhyung-ahh, you were not blinded by her bright smile, right?

I crawled to the floor when the door closed. I couldn’t think a single thing.

---

[to be continued]

[FLASH FICTION] SOMEDAY

Sekarang hanya memori yang aku punya. Tentu saja. Ketika kamu telah berlalu dari hadapanku saat itu, aku sudah tahu aku tidak akan mempunyai kesempatan untuk bertemu kamu lagi.

"Someday...."

Ya, someday, suatu hari nanti yang entah kapan itu, aku selalu meyakinkan diriku sendiri bahwa kita akan bertemu kembali. Bahwa setelah berlalunya malam dan siang, bahwa setelah berkali-kali aku bertanya mengapa kamu meninggalkanku, aku masih berharap bahwa mungkin saja suatu hari itu adalah hari ini.

Aku tidak tahu.

Aku masih akan terus mempercayai, mungkin kita memang bisa bersama... suatu hari nanti.

"Someday...."

Aku memandang tiket konser berumur enam bulan lalu di mana aku bertemu denganmu pertama kalinya dan juga mungkin untuk terakhir kalinya.

Detik ini pun, aku masih percaya akan 'someday' itu...

Setiap hari jantungku berdebar, hanya mengingat mungkin today is that someday... which gonna be ours.

-fin-

#FF2in1

inspired by: someday - john legend

[FLASH FICTION] Sepotong Cinta

"Kenapa aku bisa jatuh cinta sama kamu?" Itu yang keluar dari mulut mungilmu. Sekarang. Di sini, di saat-saat terakhir kita mungkin akan bisa berpelukan.

Aku tersenyum saja.

"Aku masih terus berfikir." Lanjutmu.

Aku memeluknya erat.

"Belum paham." Ucapmu lirih.

Aku diam-diam menggenggam tangannya, "Biarkan aku saja yang terus berfikir dan berjuang untukmu, kamu tidak perlu bersusah payah memikirkan hal itu. Cobalah untuk menerimaku, aku akan terus bernafas untukmu." 

Kamu tersenyum.

"Biarkan waktu yang memisahkan." ucapmu lagi. 

Kamu terisak di atas pusaraku, sementara kamu tak melihatku memelukmu.

"Biarkan rindu menjadi satu...." kamu hapus tangismu.

-fin-
#FF2in1
inspired by: cobalah mengerti - peterpan

[FANFIC] "I DON'T KNOW LOVE" part 10

She slapped me.

“Why…,” I sighed. “You still love me. You can’t lie to me.” I said.

“I do not love you.” She said. “I’m not lying right now.” She tried to open the door. “Open it!” she looked at my face with a scary facial expression.

“I won’t.” I answered. “Stay here.”

“Dujun-ahh, listen me, we are strangers to each other.” She said. “If we are trying to continue this relationship, we gonna hurt each other.” She sobbed, “Don’t you understand it?”

“I do not understand.” I said.

“No. It’s not like you do not understand it. But, you do not want to understand it, Dujun-ahh.” She took a breath for a while, “It’s already a year. You should have forgotten me.”

“But, look, you never forget me.” I said. The kiss between us just now was the proof. “I can feel your… kiss.” I continued.

“But, I have…,” she cut my words, “forgotten you.”

“You haven’t.” I believed Miinah still loved me, all this time.

“I have.” She took my right hand, “Dujun-ahh, forget me, please.” She looked at me, “now, open the door.”

“Miinah-ahh…” I called her name, I missed her so much, and how could she do this to me? “Let me sit here, beside you, for awhile.” I continued.

“Dujun-ahh…” she nodded, “araseo.” Then she avoided my gaze.

I couldn’t think any other than stare at her. I missed her. Although she slapped me while saying she did not love me, her kiss was still the same.

I could feel it.

She loved me.

---

I saw her walked in the middle of darkness. It was already past midnight. I tried to stay on my seat. But, my mind couldn’t feel at ease. Without realizing it, I had opened the door, and walked fast to her side. She looked at me, startled.

“Do not complain.” I said.

“I can go home, alone.” She said, “The subway is right in the front.”

“Don’t you think it is better to go home with me?” I asked, insisting to drive her home.

“I won’t.” she said, “back to your car.”

“I will company you.” I said. “I can let the car park there.” I didn’t care at all; I wouldn’t let my very precious girl in danger. This was midnight; there would be many bad people out there.

“Dujun-ahh!” she looked frustrated, “we are not a couple anymore.”

“Who cares..?” I walked beside her. “You looked thin.”

“Shut up.” She said, “or I will slap you again.”

“I don’t care.” I said, “I don’t care if you are going to slap me hundreds more.” I winked.

“Iyuuuh.” She walked faster, left me behind, “do not follow me.”

“Hyaaa, babo-ya, I can walk faster than you.” I walked faster, and already in her side again.

“Dujun-ahh, stop it.” She said.

I touched her hands. “Listen me.” I said.

“Let me go!” she screamed.

“Miinah-ahh, do you want to feel the heart sick for ten years or twenty years or your entire life?” I asked, being so freaking frustrated.

“Why? Because of what?” she asked. She tried so hard to let her hands go.

“Because you still love me.” I said. I didn’t know what happen to me. I just wanted her –wanted this girl so badly.

“I do not.” She said, “Stop talking about this stuff.”

“Miinah-ahh.”

“Shut up, go catch the train with me, or do not go with me, back to your car.” Miinah walked away. She looked so pissed off.

“I will shut my mouth.” I said.

Silently I walked behind her.

---

Miinah sat in the train. She didn’t talk at all, listening to her i-pod using headset. I sat beside her. Because it was a late train, there were no many people here. I kept watching her. She looked sleepy. Miinah didn’t even see me. She acted as if I was not here. I didn’t really care.

“Pluk.” Miinah’s headset fell from her left ear. I saw her. She had been falling asleep. I took it, plug it on my ear, I got shocked, this was my voice…

At that time… I made it… for her….

I looked at her peaceful face; I kissed her forehead, and put her head on my shoulder. I held her hand.

Babo-yaa, you still loved me.

---

[to be continued]

[FLASH FICTION] A-Not-Usual Party

Musik berdentum. Luar biasa keras. Aku duduk tenang, menempel di tembok, memandang orang menikmati hidangan pesta malam ini. Mereka menikmati seakan makanan dan minuman itu adalah hal terenak di seluruh dunia. Aku hanya mendesah.

"Bung, kenapa duduk saja? Tak mau makan bersama kami?" seorang lelaki mendekatiku. Aku hanya tersenyum dan menggeleng.

"Terimakasih." jawabku.

Pria itu berlalu.

---

"Bagaimana pestanya?" tanya istriku.

"Ramai. Jelaslah, dia kan dokter terkenal." jawabku.

"Bagaimana darahnya segar?" tanya istriku lagi.

"Tentu saja." seruku, "dan manis sekali, sayang. Ini aku sisakan untukmu." Aku  mengeluarkan kantong plastik berisi cairan kental berwarna merah.

"Ah terimakasih sayang." serunya, "sana sikat gigi dulu." 

Aku segera ke kamar mandi. Menyikat gigi bertaringku. 

"Wow, vampir seperti kita memang perlu sekali-kali pesta darah dokter sesat seperti dia." istriku menghampiriku sambil meneguk darah kental dokter yang telah merubah kami menjadi vampir itu.

-end-

#FF2in1

tema: 'pesta'

[FLASH FICTION] Ulang Tahun Jun

Dia terus merajuk, meminta kado ulang tahun. Ya, ini adalah hari ulang tahunnya. Jun sudah dua puluh tahun, tapi ulang tahun baginya adalah momen yang wajib dirayakan. 

"Iya, Jun, nanti." Kata papanya yang sibuk mengurus dokumen kantor.

"Sekarang, pa. Besok Jun harus balik ke asrama." Katanya dengan cemberut.

"Bentar." Sahut papanya.

"Papa, ini ulang tahunku." Jun mendesah, "papa ngga sayang Jun." dengan marah, Jun keluar dari kantor papanya, terdengar bunyi 'braak' dari pintu yang ia tutup.

---

"Triiing." 

"Ya halo, dengan Jun." jawab Jun yang masih bersungut-sungut di asramanya. "Apa?" Cowok berpipi chubby itu nampak terkejut.

Ia terdiam. Handphone-nya jatuh begitu saja ke lantai. 

Tanpa sadar, airmatanya berlinang.

"Papa, maaf." bisiknya.

"Juuuuuun, Juuuuun, ini dari papamu, dia baru saja dari sini!" teman sekamarnya masuk dengan tergesa-gesa, memberikan sebuah kotak berpita. "Ini hadiah buat kamu ya?" teman Jun membuka isi kotak itu, "Wow, ini kunci mobil, Jun."

"Papaaaa.... Dio, papaku baru saja kecelakaan. Dia sudah dipanggil Tuhan."

Terdengar isak tangis penyesalan Jun. 

-end-

#FF2in1

tema: 'ulang tahun'

[FLASH FICTION] Unspoken Love

Kamu pernah merasakan jantung berdebar keras? Seperti sedang dipukul dengan palu baja... aku pernah. Bahkan rasa-rasanya jantungku akan meloncat dari tempatnya. Aku bukan melebih-lebihkan, karena aku mendeskripsikan apa itu arti seribu tahun penantianku. 

Aku melihatnya perlahan.

Akhirnya aku berhasil melihatnya.

Hanya melihat.

Demi apa.

Orang yang paling kucinta.

Melihatnya berdiri seperti itu, membuatku tak mampu untuk berdiri dengan berani menyuarakan keberadaanku.

Aku ingin memeluknya. Punggungnya tepat di depan mataku..

Terdengar teriakan di sekitarku yang menghempasku kembali ke dunia nyata. Kuusap air mataku yang tanpa sadar jatuh berlinang. 

Mungkin inilah cinta yang dangkal.

Aku terjebak di dalamnya.

Entahlah, aku tidak mau berteori, biarkan aku terus terjebak.

Aku akan terus menunggu seribu tahun lamanya. Bukan masalah lagi. Lagipula aku sudah mati berkali-kali dalam percintaan ini. Dalam mempertahankan cinta ini.

Perlahan, aku meremas tiket konser di tanganku yang basah oleh keringat, tersenyum, dan masih melihat cahaya di depanku. 

#FF2in1

inspired by: a thousand years - christina perry

 

[FLASH FICTION] Bitter Sweet Love..

Kusesap kopiku.
Baunya khas, pekat, pahit dan manis di saat bersamaan.
Seperti kamu.

"Salahkah bila kau yang ada di hatiku?" terdengar sangat emosional dan bohong, biarlah.

Kamu menggelengkan kepala.
Kamu memandang jalanan luar.

"Kusadari sudah..." bisikku.

Kamu memandangku.
Diam.

"Bila ku bukan yang ingin kau milikki." lanjutku.

Kamu terpukau.

"Kamu sudah menyentuh hatiku..." ucapku.

Kamu terdiam.

"Rio!" seseorang memanggil namaku.

Aku memandang wanita itu, beku.

"Maaf, tapi kamu suami kakakku." Bisikmu pelan.

"Tapi, kamulah yang ada di hatiku. Pernah kah ada aku di hatimu?" tanyaku.

Kamu tersenyum kecil, mengangguk lembut.
Menyesap kembali kopi itu -bitter and sweet. 



#FF2in1
inspired by: untitled - maliq & d'essentials

[MV REVIEW] Gain Speaks Up With Bloom

O MY GOD, any of you have watched Gain's new MV - Bloom? This seems a 19+ MV (although for me the song itself can't be considered as 19+ too). Do you want to know what I mean? Go watch the MV first here: 

I want to talk about some stuffs (that probably people will see it just as random things put there) that attract my attention. Flower (bloom) and apple which appear in the beginning of MV look interesting. Well, this song is telling about the 'first time' of a girl (you know what I mean LOL). In the beginning of the MV we see Gain with various flowers with his innocent face, don't you think these flowers here to show the symbolization of womanhood --more to a girl in this case. 

Then after those scene with flowers, we see a room with some random stuffs put there, if you take a look closely there is a red apple in the table. That apple appears again in the next scene, even in the scene where Gain lying on the bed which is right in her right side. Apple takes the symbolization of forbidden fruit, but some other takes it as lust or sex desire. If we are going to talk about this MV, then this is true. After some scenes of Gain lying on bed, or tying up with blanket in veranda, we can see how the lust all over her: the scene where she sits on the floor in the kitchen (if you don't know what she does, she does masturbation) expresses it well. Yeah, probably this means how a girl in this 'blooming/flowering state' gonna act the same way too (idk) lol.

In the next scene, don't you want to think that 'hello why suddenly there are lambs in the garden (which fulls of flowers) with Gain and suddenly a man appears kissing her?' LOL. I think so much bout this one. Yeah, actually purity/innocent is symbolized by lamb. Well, Gain is a pure girl at first. But, the man appears, kissing her, and the next step of her life begins (she is not virgin/pure anymore). 

No wonder, after that the next scene is the 'bed scene' (which is not really revealing --ah rather). May I cough? *cough cough* the bed scene is done perfectly though, because we can see the 'steps' clearly until the 'climax' which the denouement is the appearing of a butterfly on the Gain's shoes. 

Why shoes? Why butterfly? Yes, shoes is equipment we wear to walk to the other path (put it more poetically lol). Then, butterfly is the symbolization of metamorphosis and changing the soul. Yes, just like me, all of us understand it enough, after those 'bed scenes' end and the butterfly appears, thus means that Gain (the girl) reaches the next path of her life, and of course her soul has changed somehow.

Well, well, I love how this MV thoroughly was made to make us, the audiences, understand the story line. The more thing is that those stuffs as symbolization were put there in smart way -step by step. I don't know why when I see a good MV I just can't stay calm. Thus, I wrote this review. But, still there is a thing I want to know: what's with Gain and red turtleneck? LOL ^^;; Besides, I can see how brave Gain to speak up with this song (you know what I mean --ahhLOL).

Here, if you want to know the meaning of the song (indeed the lyric fits perfectly with the MV):

I am a flower that hasn’t bloomed all the way
But the sunshine makes me bloom
With a smooth motion
Chemical blue ocean

How is this so good?
What did you do to me?
On that listless late night
What made my eyes open wide
Was that one kiss

Speak up speak up speak up speak
Speak up speak up speak

You can make me high
You can make me fly
Because I keep missing you
Because I want to hear from you
I want everything of you ah ah ah

You’re my wonderland
You’re my whole new world
Under the shooting stars
On your hill
Us together ah ah ah

Now I am
A flower that bloomed in your hand
My neuron has awoken
What do I do?
I’ve never been like this before

What do I care about what others think?
Who is that person who keeps whispering?
You are the universe that I chose
Will you hold me? Would you?
So I can hide in you

Are you good? What are you? Are you good?
Are you fake?

You can make me high
You can make me fly
Because I keep missing you
Because I want to hear from you
I want everything of you ah ah ah

Speak up speak up speak up speak
Speak up speak up speak up speak

My hand in yours is pretty eh eh
My lips calling your name is pretty eh eh

You’re the magic, oh
You’re the wonderland
I keep calling out to you
Falling asleep under the shooting stars
That beautiful ah ah ah

I love you
It’s the love
Your fantasies that you only dreamed of
Tell them to me ah ah ah

How is this so good?
What did you do to me?
This listless night tonight
I bloom once again
Oh only kiss me

(credit goes to: kpoplyric)

OK, this is just from my point of view. The symbolization terms I got from various sources on internet. Thank you, let's support Son Gain's Talk About S! ^^

[FLASH FICTION] Aku Pulang

Cahaya matahari menerobos masuk ke dalam kamar serba putih ini melalui celah jendela. Aku masih di sini, memandangimu. Bukan kamu. Tapi, fotomu di dalam frame tua. Perasaan ini seakan membunuhku. Waktu berjalan seakan sangat lambat. Satu detik serasa ribuan menit. Satu menit serasa ribuan jam. Satu jam serasa seharian. Begitu terus metamorfosis hidupku. Lebih tepatnya, aku tidak pernah berhasil bermetamorfosis sempurna.

Wajahmu masih tetap sama. Cantik dan mempesona, seorang yang selalu kucinta.

Jarak ini seakan membunuhku. 

Tapi, tenang sayang, aku juga akan segera pulang.

Pulang padamu,

yang sedang di surga.

Dengan lembut, aku mencabut jarum infusku. 

#FF2in1

inspired by: Long Distance - Bruno Mars

[FLASH FICTION] Maafkan Aku ...

Aku memandang punggungnya. Suaraku parau untuk memanggilnya. Aku urungkan saja niatku. Punggungnya nampak rapuh dan tua. Aku ingin memeluknya sayang dan mesra. Aku ingin bermanjaan di pelukannya.

Tapi aku tidak bisa.

Dengan air mata yang urung jatuh karena aku tahan, aku bereskan serpihan kaca di lantai. Aku melihat wajahku di antara pecahannya. 

"Aku tidak mau tau ya, kamu harus segera menyelesaikan semua ini." teriakmu. 

Batinku menjerit. Tidak semudah itu. 

"Aku belum bisa." jawabku, lirih.

"Kamu tidak pernah mencintaiku. Tidak pernah mau nurut kalau dikasih tau." bentakmu.

Aku meronta. Aku lebih mencintaimu. 

"Maafkan aku, Ibu." bisikku.

Maafkan aku yang tak pernah bisa menunjukkan rasa cintaku padamu, Ibu. Aku memandang pundaknya yang naik turun. Mungkin ia menangisi cintaku yang tak pernah sampai padanya. 

Maafkan aku.

Kamu tidak pernah tahu, Ibu, betapa aku mencintaimu meski takbisa ku katakan.

Semoga cintaku tidak pupus padamu.

Dengan perlahan, aku membuka pintu, dan pergi meninggalkan rumah.

Pupus.

#FF2in1 

inspired by: Pupus - Dewa

woman-----be strong!

There is this creature being called woman. This creature is a very special one. How so? Because a creature named man is a bad one. I only live 23 years in this world, but my life says this is true that man is not really good creature. He cheats on relationship. He feels higher. He is reluctant. My life says so. I don't know what your life will say about him.

Woman, on the other hand, endure everything for man. Woman, living as long as she can hold on everything that man does. Woman, very clever to put on fake make up everyday. Woman, even smiles on every occasion although she is sobbing and moaning in her deepest heart.

My life... teaches me this... that...

woman needs to grow stronger than man.

I will live thousand years more to show man that woman is not something he can kid with. 

Per... haps. 

I'm sorry, I still can't protect you... 

(and am not crying, now)

The New Life Style of Modern Netizens

Well, this noon I had said it on my twitter account when I was youtube-walking -means watching on youtube video like walking- that there is this kind of new life styles: netizens walking from one site to another site. So, you can do the blog-walking, etc. When you visiting a blog, it's like you visiting a home. You may read it silently, or comment on it. LOL. 

Tonight, it's normal to see a blogger commented on your post. But, it feels like what I said this noon is so true. The bloggers (or netizens) are not only the youth, but also adults. A mother is blog-walking in the middle of night, yes, she even visited mine just now. And the question is: 

DOESN'T SHE NEED TO WAKE UP EARLY TO PREPARE HER CHILDREN'S BREAKFAST AND SO ON?

I'm just kidding. Indeed, blogging is good to release stress.
Emak-emak blogger out there, keep walking!

Really mind blowing~ LOL >____<

[DRAWING] an abstract -- midschool task!

-my own drawing-

-crayons- 

(This is an abstract painting of very well known painter, but I can't remember who he is. I was just copying him and giving some colors back then (10 years ago). Anyone knows?)

[FLASH FICTION] Kata Mendua

Aku melihatnya mendua. Ini memang benar terjadi di depanku sekarang, menit ini juga. Sesungguhnya, aku tidak punya ekspresi yang tepat untuk mengekspresikannya. Ketika kamu mencintai seseorang sepenuh hati, dan dia pergi begitu saja dengan orang lain. Padahal, ia sudah dengan murahnya berobral janji akan selalu mencintaimu dan selalu meminta dukunganmu, apa yang terbersit di benakmu?

Aku hanya ingin menangis.

Dia mendua. Di depan mataku. Airmataku jatuh berlinang.

Aku scroll down semua photo-photo itu. Dia bergandengan. Dia meminum segelas kopi dengan seorang wanita yang wajahnya aku kenal betul. Dia masuk ke dalam mobil dengannya. Dia tersenyum berdua di jalanan sepi, tengah malam. Dia... dia... dan dia....

Tanganku berhenti tepat ketika terdengar bunyi 'trrriiing' dari monitor laptopku dengan diikuti munculnya message di email:

Master Fansite, your bias now having a girl friend.

Will you still manage your fansite? 

Sebuah email dari seorang anggota fansite yang aku atur sekarang. Ya, idolaku telah mendua. Sekarang. Detik ini paparazi berhasil menyebarkan semua photo itu. 

Mungkin ada beribu manusia di luar sana menangis. Menangisi satu orang yang sama. Mendua, adalah hal tabu bagi kami. Tapi, dia mendua. 

Inilah, apa yang sangat ditakutkan fan girl: kata mendua....

#FF2in1 words: 190
tema: "mendua"

[FLASH FICTION] Cinta yang Bisu dan Tuli

Aku memandangnya tak berkedip. Orang bilang inilah cinta pertama. Aku tak bisa berhenti menatap matanya yang indah. Bola mata paling indah yang pernah aku lihat seumur hidupku, berwarna gelap dan bersih. Aku juga menyukai lekuk tulang rahangnya yang tegas. Wajahnya begitu sempurna.

Oh, orang bilang ini cinta pertama.

Cinta pertama, ketika kamu merasakan sesuatu yang belum pernah kamu rasakan sebelumnya. Itulah ketika hatimu seakan ingin meloncat dari tempatnya, dan jantung berdegup kencang. Ya, itulah cinta pertama. Kata orang, itulah cinta pertama.

Aku kembali memandangi wajahnya. Sekarang, aku beralih melihat ke seluruh postur tubuhnya. Inilah postur tubuh idaman semua wanita di muka bumi: seorang pria tinggi semampai dengan otot kuat menempel di tulangnya. Aku tak sanggup menahan liurku menetes.

Tiba-tiba dia berteriak, "Apa yang kamu lakukan dengannya di sini?" aku terhenyak dari tempatku duduk. Aku melihat seorang wanita keluar dari rumahnya, disusul dengan laki-laki lain. 

Inilah cinta pertama, aku merasa sakit melihatnya.

Aku ingin menghiburnya, tetapi wanita itu menarikku. "Aku memang berselingkuh darimu!" balas wanita itu berteriak tepat di sampingku. Aku ingin menamparnya. 

Ia menyia-nyiakan cinta pertamaku.

"Doggie, ayo sini, kita pulang! Aku tidak butuh lelaki seperti dia!" wanita itu menarik tali kekangku. Aku berteriak di tempat, ingin berseru 'lepaskan aku' tapi yang keluar hanyalah "GUK GUK".

Aku menyerah. Aku menatap cinta pertamaku sambil terus menyalak.

Ya, lelaki yang diselingkuhi nonaku adalah cinta pertamaku. Aku seekor anjing bernama Doggie. Kata orang, cinta pertama tidak mengenal dengan siapa kamu jatuh cinta. Atau, cinta pertama itu buta dan tuli, bahkan kamu tidak bisa mendengar suara degup jantungmu sendiri.

Ya, inilah cinta yang bisu dan tuli!

#FF2in1 words: 264 

Tema: "Cinta Pertama"

[DRAWING] The Raw of Him

This is the raw version LOL. I'm using a pen to draw it. I don't know my hand just started to draw him. Do you happen to know which pic of him that inspires me? It comes from one of the scene in Midnight PV that was released yesterday. This one:

It's not even similar, rite? LOL ahahahah.... what funny me~ > <

[DRAWING] Is He Yoon Dujun?

-my own drawing-

-a pen-

[FANFIC] "I DON'T KNOW LOVE" part 9

I held her hands tightly. “Gayoon-ahh, that is Junhyung’s car.” I pointed at a car which approaching us. “You gonna leave with him.” I said, short.

“What are you trying to do…,” I heard Miinah’s voice. She tried to take her hand. I held it more tightly. “Dujun-ahh? Why are you like this?” she asked.

Gayoon stood beside me, looked nervous, and hoped that Junhyung’s car walked faster.

The car stopped in front of us. I looked at Gayoon who nodded right away. She looked so nervous until her face turned so pale and white. She opened the door and sat there. She was so silent. Junhyung, instead, opened his door, and walked toward me and Miinah.

“What happens here?” he asked. I looked around; there was no person at this hour. It was late in the midnight. It is a good decision to choose the midnight movie. “Let her go.” He said, again.

“Watch out your action, Junhyungie.” I said, trying to be calm.

“Dujun-ahh, let me go.” Miinah opened her mouth once again, “we do not deserve to be together.” She continued.

“Can’t you just stop talking…,” I said. “It’s still not over for me.”

“Dujunie…,” Junhyung talked to me, “let her go.” He said, “or you gonna hurt her more.”

“I won’t.” I said. “I won’t let anyone hurt her.”

Miinah took a breath. “Junhyungie, let us alone. Can you bring Gayoon home safely?” I rather surprised with what Miinah said just now.

Junhyung looked so taken aback. But, he slightly nodded. “Ehmm…, OK, I will.” He walked toward his car and turned on the engine. And his car slowly moved away.

“Will you let my hand go?” Miinah now looked at me directly.

“I won’t.” I said. “That’s my car. Follow me.”

I won’t let you go.

Not again.

---

“Where are you all this time?” I asked. The girl I missed the most now sitting beside me. She looked so thin –thinner than before. Her face looked so pale. She looked so weak. “You look so thin, Miinah.”

She kept silence.

“You don’t miss me?” I asked again.

She did not open her mouth.

“I miss you so much.” I said while paying attention to the road in front of me.

She didn’t even look at my face.

“You don’t know how much I’m suffering all this time.” I continued.

She was looking to the road through the window.

“I still love you.” I kept talking.

She took a breath.

“I don’t think we are over.” I need to talk about this ‘serious’ stuff.

“We are.” She opened her mouth gave me shock.

I looked at her face. She looked at me.

“Dujun-ahh. We  are already over. Over. Are you babo?” She saw my face with those teary eyes.

“We are not. Say that you don’t love me! You still love me!” I said.

“I do not love you.” She said.

“Prove it!” I said.

“How? I have said: I do not love you, Dujun-ahh!”

“You are a liar!” I moved the car to the parking lot in the side of the road. I turned off the engine. And took her face closed to my face. “A liar, you are!”

I kissed her.

She tried to get rid of me. I kept her in my love.

Her eyes looked so surprised.

I do not want to let her go.

Not again.

She suddenly got so much calm. I saw her eyes –she closed it tightly.

She got the rhyme.

I stopped it.

“See, you are a stupid liar.” I said. I believe this girl still loves me. All this time.

[to be continued]