FREEDOM

[FANFIC] "I DON'T KNOW LOVE" part 7

  

“Ahh, hyung, let’s have dinner with Dujunie-hyung.” Dongwoon said to Junhyung when I closed the door. We had finished practice. Yeah, today was July 4.

“Ahh, Dujunie, mian, I can’t.” I saw Junhyung packed his stuff to his bag. “I need to go to somewhere else.” He said.

“Go to Hara’s house?” Hyunseung’s question made the whole room freeze.

“Hyaa, what you say?” Yoseob kicked Hyunseung’s butt, “Sst.. It’s already half of year. How could you…?”

“Ahh, mian.” Hyunseung tried to hug Junhyung, “I forgot you have …”

“Hyaa, just stop talking, will you?” now Kikwang dragged Hyunseung out and asked him to sit beside him. “Oh well, Dujunie, what should we eat tonight?” he asked.

“Guys, do you still need to celebrate my birthday?” I asked while stepping closer to Junhyung. He looked busy with his stuff. Where would he go? He had broken up with Hara six months ago and never visited that house again. Yeah, that Hara’s house was near our agency office. Sometimes I saw the light turned on, but there was no Junhyung there anymore. “Hya, Junhyung-ahh, odiga?” I asked. At least as a leader I need to know what my member did.

“It’s not something important, Dujun-ahh. Can I skip today’s celebration?” he asked while being ready with his stuffs and his car key in his hand. “I do really need to go somewhere else.” He said, begging.

“Ehm, you may.” I said, “Guys, let him go, okay?” the boys nodded, “then let’s go, I’m going to treat you all.” I dragged Yoseob on my hand.

“Annyeong.” Junhyung walked out from room when Hyunseung started asking randomly again, “Do you think where he will go? I don’t think he will go to studio. Where do you think he will go?” then Kikwang patted his back, “Hyaa, stop! Can’t you?” On other side, Dongwoon and Yoseob laughed so hard.

Oh well, Miinah-ahh how are you? Is your day going well? It has already a year you leave me… don’t you even miss me?

 I miss you like crazy, always, everyday.

Can’t you back to me…

---

“Today you did go there?” Yoseob ate the meat while asking me a very not good question. “You have done it for a year already, Dujun-ahh. Don’t you feel tired?”

“I went there. And it’s still empty.” I said while drinking my soju. “It’s a year already and I can’t even find her. Her blog closed. She changed her phone’s number. Wae, yoseobie? Wae?” I drank a glass of soju again.

“Ahh, hyung… keumanaee… jebal… stop drinking.” Dongwoon tried to take my glass. But he failed; I poured soju into it again. “Ahh hyuuuuuung…” Dongwoon saw me with a pitiful look.

“Let him be.” Said Hyunseung. Yoseob looked at him, followed by Dongwoon. “At least let him throw up all his problems. Today is his birthday.” He said again. Yoseob looked at him, followed by Dongwoon again.

“Ahh hyung… are you drunk?” Dongwoon patted his cheek.

“What? Me? Of course not, you crazy boy!” Said Hyunseung while trying to hit Dongwoon’s forehead. Yoseob laughed, followed by me.

Those three boys got silent.

“Wae? Mwo?” I said, okay, I was so drunk now, I couldn’t think properly.

“Ahh… guys… jebal stop playing around.” All of us looked at the owner’s voice. It is Kikwang’s voice. “Ahh, Dujunie.. let’s drink til drunk!” he tossed his glass to my glass.

“You have been so drunk, hyaa baboyaaa.” Yoseob patted Kikwang’s butt.

We all ended up laughing so hard together.

Thank you God, I still have these boys to lean on.

---

I watched the TV when I heard the ‘click’ from the front door. It must be Junhyungie. I saw his silhouette. “Junhyungie?” I could smell alcohol from my mouth. I should sleep right now after drinking bottles of soju, but I just couldn’t. The other boys had slept an hour ago.

“Dujunie…? You still awake?” He entered the living room, “what you doing here? Uh… you smell... You got drunk… right?” he sat beside me.

“I can’t sleep.” I said, “Where did you go?” I asked. I smelled something very familiar from Junhyung’s jacket. “You… you meet a girl?” I asked. “The scent is like…”

“Ahh, Dujun-ahh, you are drunk. Stop talking nonsense and go sleep!” He stood up and walked to his room, “I’m going to sleep. Annyeong.” He closed his room. “OH NO KIKWANG-AHH THE ROOM SMELLS LIKE SOJU EVERYWHERE, YOU BABOYAAAAA!”

I laughed on my seat, hearing Junhyung’s screaming. This boy is... really… a kid.

---

After finishing my entire schedule, I sat here, alone, Miinah-ahh. Why I keep missing you? Why I can’t stop this feeling? Why I keep coming to this café? Are you the reason of all this? Can’t you just appear once in front of my face?

Hanbonman… jebal… dorawa…

I plugged my headset to my smart phone and started to listen to Phantom’s hole in your face.

I miss us, you and me, so much, but

Why-

You keep further, and further away…

Your face must hurt and acquiring a hole,

Because I stare at your picture all day long…

I sighed, drank my coffee.

Whenever I call

Pick the phone

Don’t ask me to disappear

I saw the street in front of the café. I saw a skinny girl with a black skirt and white t-shirt walked fast in her umbrella. Nowadays Seoul had been poured by rain. And today it was pretty hard. That girl stopped in front of the café. I couldn’t see her face, but I happened to see her hat. It was red. 

Are you listening?

I miss us, you and me, so much, but

Why-

You keep further, and further away…

She walks away…

Walks away…

“Oeoseo oeoseoyoooo.” The girl entered the café. She put her umbrella and sat in the corner of café. I didn’t know why, I kept staring at her. She ordered something. I saw the waitress back brought a glass of cola. I smiled by myself. Miinah-ahh, look, you have friend here. Who will order cola in a café like this? Only you. 

I must be zoning out again…

“Diiiin Diiiin.” I heard a clack sound. It is from a car which is parked in front of the café just now. That car… isn’t that Junhyungie’s? I got shocked for seconds.

Then, I saw that hat red-girl stood up, walked fast, and ran to Junhyung’s car. I couldn’t think properly. I didn’t know with what I saw just now. I couldn’t see her face. So, I didn’t know who she was. She was not Hara. No, Hara must be recognized easily by the waitress here. Who was she?

I look at you… and in the end it’s still you, baby girl…

---

HOLE IN YOUR FACE

PHANTOM

* Are you listening? I miss you and me so much but
Why do you keep getting farther away? I'm zoning out again
Your face must be getting pierced, it must be getting a hole
Because I look at your picture all day baby girl
Your face must be getting pierced, it must be getting a hole
I look at you and in the end, it's still you baby girl

I only stare at your picture everyday
To the point where a hole might form
I still hate you - can't you give the slightest interest
To my changed life? Is this me being selfish too?
Look at me please, my heart is crumbling
No my heart is piercing

* repeat

It's gonna long time baby -
Autumn, winter and spring again since I've only looked at you
I don't know what to do
Please pick up the phone - don't tell me to disappear

It's not easy to be clingy -
My heart is festering boils, it's bleeding
Please don't do this - it's not time to break up yet
I thought we'd realize everything if we were in love

watch the MV with engsub here: hole in your face - phantom

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[to be continued]


read part 1-6 here:
IDKL 1-6