This morning I
waited her while got so nervous. I waited for an hour already, in front of her
house. She was sure a daughter of chaebol.
Although I was an idol at this moment, but my family was just so-so. I felt so
inferior, but when she opened the gate which was very very big (that you couldn’t
even imagine there was one of this kind in Ilsan), I threw away all my less
confidence. She ran toward me while smiling so brightly. She looked so fresh
and pure, just like usual her. Her smile attracted me, even in the first time
we met; I couldn’t think any other than how bright this girl. Miinah could always
bring that happiness around me, and like a warm jacket, she was very
comfortable to be worn and so nice to touch and hug and… kiss. What kiss? What
was I thinking right now? I had been gone so crazy, I bet – crazy over this
little girl. No, no, not like she was a lot younger than me, but Miinah was
sure a little girl, not so tall, and just fitted enough on my chest when I hugged
her, which I just barely did it. No, I did it once. I just hugged her once and
held her hands once. I did nothing at all, for a month we were on date. Even in
the first day we officially became a couple, I just looked at her in the side
when she looked busy watching that ‘A Moment to Remember’ movie. She never knew
how nervous I was back then, just like now. Today was our third date, if I
might call it like that. I was so busy, that I could barely see her.
“Dujun-ahh.” She
stood in front of me. I got blinded by her smile, and her shining eyes,
everything. “Dujun-ahh, wae? Wae? Is
my makeup so bold?” she asked while touching my hands which I could feel the
electrifying all around my body.
“Oh, I have
waited for almost an hour, you know?” no doubt, I was just putting on act.
“Mian, mian, uri appa, is an evil, you
know? Mian mian, uhm uhm, yeobeo?” she tried to put some aegyo
that made me melt.
“Ne, ne, araseo.” I held her hand, “Let’s
go.”
“Odiga?” she asked.
“Just follow me.”
I said. I would bring you to the best place ever, Miinah-ah.
“On foot?” she
asked again.
“Yes.” I
answered.
“What?” she
stopped for awhile.
“Just kid, we
gonna catch the bus in the bus stop. There!” I pointed the bus stop, right in
the corner of the street.
“Ehm… I never
ride a bus.” She said.
I laughed.
She looked at
me.
We both laughed
together.
---
“Dujunie, I don’t
know that you gonna bring me here.” I could hear her very soft voice while her
eyes saw me with a liter of tears going to fall. “Thank you so much.”
“Thank you for
what?” I asked. I didn’t know I just wanted to ask this unnecessarily question.
“Thank you for
everything, the first time ever of riding the bus, and now the … beach.” She
hugged me, my heart beat so fast. She sobbed in my embrace. “I love you.”
I got frozen at
the moment she said ‘I love you’, this was the first time, she said this very important
words. And she kept repeating the ‘I love you I love you I love you’ like
really million times now. We were hugging each other while sitting in the sand.
“Why do you love
me?” I asked. And the sound of ocean in sudden was so romantic, in my ears.
“I just love
you, love you. I don’t know. Heart is chosen, not choosing.” She answered.
Frozen.
The heart never
chose, but it is chosen instead. That was why you chose me, Miinah-ah?
“I have been
chosen by you,” she said.
“And me too,
being chosen by you?” I asked.
“Yes, I never
choose you, but my heart just goes all the way to you, because you have chosen
it.” She smiled, “thank you, I love you.”
“Na doo, I love you.” I took an ipod, ‘I have
a gift for you.” I continued.
“Dujunahh… you
don’t need to…” she sobbed.
“This is not just
an ipod.” I plug the headset in her ears. “I made it for you.”
Miinah listened
to it, and got so speechless. I looked at his facial expression, what will she react?
“Dujunahh… you
crazy boy… this is so sweet.” She hugged me, “Thank you, dear.” She kissed my
cheek. “I will save it. I love you so much…”
I looked at how
happy she was. She was repeating the audio I recorded last night, when this feeling
came to me. I wanted to be her only man. I touched her cheeks, and took one of
the headsets and plugged it on my right ear, I could hear my own voice, and
while smiling, I kissed her. She looked surprised for a moment, but she
realized the situation fast, and joined me in our first kissing scene.
This was just
like a scene from a movie. Our first kiss, sitting on the sand, while the sound
of sea waves sound so romantic, and my voice in ipod, was talking about:
“Miinah-ahh,
I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I
love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I
love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love
you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love
you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love
you. Thank you for smiling so bright for me.”
Even the stars in the sky got envied with our
new beautiful love.
---
I smiled at our
old memories. Now all were so different. I listened to my very own voice
through Miinah’s ipod. I believed she still loved me. I took my jacket off, and
put it around her body. After a year she left me, she looked so thin. I didn’t
know what happen to her, but if God were still here, I wanted Him to help me be
his man once again. Why was I like this over a girl? The answer was because
this girl was the only one.
“Ehmmm…” it
seemed she got a dream. She moved her head, and opened her eyes. She looked at
me. I saw her. “Dujunahh, why you…?” she found my jacket on her body, and took
it off “This.” She gave it to me.
“You must be so
tired.” I said, I hope I could start a nice conversation with her.
“Ehm… thank you
by the way.” She stood from her seat, and moved to the side of the door.
“Do you stop
here?” I asked, I looked at the next destination, this was around her
apartment. “Do you still live there?” I stood beside her.
There was no
reply from her.
The train
stopped, she walked out, and didn’t even look at me. I followed her. She didn’t
complain, and I just followed her all the way. This was so true; Miinah was still
living in the same apartment. When did she return there? I followed her took
the lift. And when the door lift opened, I could see someone standing in front
of the lift with a worried facial expression. That was none other than Junhyung.
I got so speechless, did not even know what to say. Miinah walked out from the
lift, and I stood still, frozen. I could hear Junhyung said: “Are you okay? Let’s
go get you warm.” I guess, he didn’t even see me standing here.
Junhyung-ahh,
you were not blinded by her bright smile, right?
I crawled to the
floor when the door closed. I couldn’t think a single thing.
---
[to be continued]
[to be continued]
