1
I wake up to the sound of dog barking. I
don’t really know it is the real dog which is barking or just me hearing it
inside my unconscious mind during my slumber. I see the ceiling of my very
room. This is white. I sweep my sweats away from my forehead and try to sit,
panting and breathing fast. The clock reads twelve midnight.
As always.
I grab a bottle of mineral on the table
beside my bed and gulp it down until I feel my throat is not dry anymore. I
hear the rhythmical voice of my roommate’s breathing. She is in deep sleeping,
I guess. I look at her in jealousy. I hope I can sleep at least as sound as
her. Two hours are good enough. I just drifted off like thirty minutes ago and
now already wake up. This is crazy. This thing always happens to me.
As always.
“Chloe…,” I hear the voice of my roommate. She is eyeing me while pulling her blanket.
“Are you okay?” She turns on the lamp by clapping his hands. “Is it another
nightmare?” She continues, “Do you want me to pat you while sleeping?” She
offers me some helps like always.
But, I just shake my head weakly. “No. Thank
you, Mill.” I say while kicking my blanket away. “I’ll just go to the kitchen
dorm to get some coffee. You go back to sleep.” I smile while crossing the room
and leave Mill alone, to make sure I don’t disturb her nap. It has been bad
after the attack and she needs to get some peaceful sleep before facing a new
day tomorrow.
It’s different for me. I just can’t sleep.
That’s usual habit and I don’t think I can go back to sleep until tomorrow so I
better get myself couple cups of coffee before sitting in hours by the window
of dining room where some of us usually and casually will talk about many
things that happen around in the city or the government and playing ping pong
or chess or just throwing each other cans of beer which the boys steal it from
the bar around college corner. Sometimes, we just simply laugh at the stupid
and hilarious TV program. And for me, I just simply love to sit here, see the
trees, the darkness, and hear the sounds of dog barking or just the wind sound,
while smelling the coffee on my hands.
“Haven’t gone to bed, Chloe?” Someone’s voice
from my back jerks me. I turn my head to the direction of the sound. I see this
tall guy with hazelnut hair and some sweats on his forehead. His warm chocolate
or hazelnut or even black eyes, maybe, I don’t know, look at my eyes straight. He is
Shayne, my only friend since childhood. “Another bad dream, huh?” He asks
casually while sitting on the seat beside me. “Mind to tell me?” He brushes
some hairs on my forehead.
“Just the dogs were barking.” I say. “Want
some coffee?” I ask, offer him my coffee. “No sugar.” I add.
“Thanks.” He takes the mug and sips it and
hands it to me again. “Why you still prefer no sugar, Chloe?”
“I don’t see any different whether adding the
coffee with sugar or not,” I sigh, as the trees on the yard whooshed by the
wind, “I still can’t go to sleep.”
“You better take some tea, then.” He says,
laughing, showing his white teeth and I just shrug my shoulder. “Coffee makes
you stay all the night, doesn’t it?”
“Perhaps.” I answer. “But, it gives me the
sanity.” I add.
“True.” Shayne nods as both of us slowly
attach to the sound of the wind whooshes the trees as the darkness starts to climb
to the dangerous night.
“Did you go practice just now?” I ask in order
to break the silence between us. “I see you sweating a lot.” I point his
forehead.
“Yeah,” he replies, “you get the sanity with
that coffee, me with the practice. It helps me a lot.”
“I know.”
I say. I don’t know this is the
right thing to do or not, but I just touch his hand and intertwine his fingers
with mine. “All things will be alright.” I say, looking straight to his
hazelnut eyes which warmly look at me back.
“Thank you, Chloe.” He says while bending to
my face and I can feel a slight kiss from him on my cheek. I stay still, don’t
know what to do. “Thank you again.” He repeats. I just nod and pretend to not
make big deal of that sudden kiss he did.
“How is your dad doing?” I ask. “The
government is starting to go crazy. This is not your dad’s fault.” I take some
breathe. “Your dad is forced by the party he is in.”
“I know, seriously.” He says while intertwine
my fingers with a stronger force. I don’t dare to break the arrangement. “After
the attack, everyone turns out to blame dad. But, I know he is just there to be
the puppet of his party.”
I don’t dare to speak, not even blink my
eyes. This is true after this noon attack, Shayne’s dad which is the president
of this country starts to be blamed over it. No one knows the real motive of
that attack except the president himself and the parties and the rebels. We all
know this rebellion has been started for decades and nothing happens as the
result. And I personally know the president himself almost these twenty years
of my life as a good and wise man. I don’t think he will be cruel one. He is a
good president who loves to save the starving kids and all. He is no mean.
That’s what I believe.
“Today’s attack is the scariest ever in my
life.” I say, after a long pause from Shayne which I think he won’t continue to
talk. “I don’t ever see the Guard Men raise their guns to the citizens.”
“The rebels want some justice over the death
of one of their leaders.” Shayne frowns. “I don’t know what actually they want
from the government.” He looks at me. “Don’t you think the government has given
them what they need?” He asks. I look at him, taken a back, I don’t know what
the right words to say as still there are many kids and family and individuals
out there starving. It’s not like the government on fault, but you know, the
habit of this country makes me tingle when every year they want some of the
kids of the country to show up on the Learning Hall to make a line to be ready
to go to army. For the poor they make a life by making their kids work for
them. That’s what actually make them angry and start to rebel. Although, I am
supposed that those parents have to work hard themselves, instead of their
children. But, the government also doesn’t do enough by forcing those kids to
go to army when they should be on school to get some standard knowledge. It’s
not the president’s fault. It is the party’s fault.
It is the fault of my dad.
~~~
